Back again, are we? And they called me insane. Well, chapter 26 of this Abomination is ready and waiting. Enjoy!

Or don’t. Your call.

Chapter 26.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

Sure. Pointing out that Kingsley Shacklebolt had frizzy hair and big, red lips wasn’t racist at all.

Oh, just black up and be done with it.

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A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree.

“Sporting a new and very fetching tentacle protruding through his chest.”

He was wearing a blak leather jackson,

Yeah. Draw attention to the colour of Jackson’s skin, and not the fact that Harry is wearing said skin. I bet you think it’s okay because he was black, don’t you? Racist.

black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

“Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me.

I would say that this was hugely insensitive of Draco, but you know. It’s Ebony.

I started to cry tears of blood

You know, **** it. I’ve been over this dozens of time, but Ebony never learns.

Neither do I, apparently, as I’m still putting my sanity on the line by reviewing this monstrosity.

and then told them what happened.

“A black man shot Lucius and Sirius! Then I offered him some fried chicken, and he did a little jig, then submitted to my white superiority! What? Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not racist, okay?”

“Oh **** it!” Vampire shouted angrily.

Suddenly realising that no amount of money would ever compensate for the ridicule of starring in this fanfiction.

He4 started to cry sadly. “What ****ing male reproductive organ did that!”

“It was a Ni- Uh, I mean, Black man.”

“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor.”

Because he’s seriously going to take a dream conjured up by a proven psychotic ‘goff’ as conclusive evidence. I mean, who wouldn’t?

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

It’s sad, really. He used to be so active. Now he just sits in his office, mumbling something about ‘motherfukers’.

“Sire are dads have been shot!”

Oh. I seem to have confused myself somewhat. You see, I thought that by ‘Sirius and Lucian’ she meant ‘Snape and Lupin’ Um. Heh.

Let’s move on before I further draw attention to my gradually failing mental facilities, shall we?

Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Enoby had a vision in a dreem.”

“We are idiots and blindly believe dreams. Oh, and there’s also a murderous clown roaming around in the corridors, in addition to this, said corridors have mysteriously started singing rude songs about my mother. And I also came into school naked today.”

“Wait. That wasn’t a dream. Nobody look at my thingy!”

Dubleodre started to male reproductive organle.

I don’t even want to know.

“Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?”

You know, if you ignore the spelling, grammar, and the fact that if Ebony had a certificate stating ‘I’m not insane’ he’d probably believe her, that’s the first halfway intelligent thing Dumbledore has said.

I glared at Dumbledore.

“Look ****.” he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter).

Yes. Yes it is.

“U know very well that I’m not decisional.

The fact that you wasted two hours you wasted getting dressed in the morning corroborates this statement.

Now get some ****ing ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!”

Bom chika wow wow!

“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice.

“Not now Dumbledore! There are children present!”

…Said Professor Flitwick.

“Were are they?”

I dare you to spot the spelling mistake in that last sentence.

I fought about it.

“Finish her! Fatality! The readers WIN!”

Then all of a sudden….. “Longdon.”

Hey, don’t mess with Longdon. I mean London.

I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff.

Essentially, this whole story can be distilled to the single sentence of ‘Ebony and friends did some stuff’. If it were only so, the world would be a much better place.

After a few mistunes

“Let’s see. Do ray me… No, that’s not it. Damn it.”

he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again.

You can almost taste the excitement.

He said that they had been found.

…In pieces, concealed in several dustbins scattered over town.

Draco, Vampire and I

I don’t believe it! Proper use of grammar! Hooray!

all left to our rooms together.

Wait, nevermind. I thought it was too good to be true. It was.

I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room.

Real smart move there, Mr. ‘I’m not actually undead’. Hell, why not cut out the middle man and just hurl yourself off the rooftops?

We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed.

Dicovering that his Father is in critical condition really makes Draco horny! I kid, I kid. In fact, Draco is perpetually horny.

Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1

Long winded exposition town, here we come.

I’m off again, but I’m sure you’ll see me again soon. After all, what better way to celebrate the birth of Christ and season of goodwill than to review and then post another blasphemous, horribly depressing chapter of ‘My Immortal’?

Until then, take care. Bye!