Acid Flux Posted:

12/16/2008 —- Gay-Ban™ and Johnsons and Johnsons™ Colored Contacts on sale in Aisle 13

Log in to see images!

Gay-Ban™

* Max Sexiness +150

* Charisma +6

* Offense +8

These Gay-Ban aviators are so sexy, they’ve been known to turn gay men straight on sight alone…and occasionally, straight men bi (for some reason).

This is what Kelly McGillis’ character in Top Gun wore, the day she proved that “DVDA” is not merely theoretical. Goose, Slider, Maverick and Wolfman all shoved their male reproductive organs into her crotchal holes simultaneously, giving new meaning to the term “wingman.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Log in to see images!

Johnsons and Johnsons™ Colored Contacts

* Max Sexiness +300

* Charisma +15

* Offense +9

* Defense +9

You know when you drop one of your lenses, and you have to look for it on the floor, and you get on all floors and everyone can see down your blouse and up your skirt?

...that’s pretty hot.

Yeah, I don’t know where I’m going with this.

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Keep adding to the Collection!