Yes, it’s me again. I’m back, as I promised I would be, you lucky people you. Lesser men would have given up by now. But not me. No, I am committed to bringing you a fresh dose of horror every time I can be bothered to drag myself over to the computer and type a few words. Pull up a chair, and pour yourself a stiff drink. Believe me, You’re gonna need it. It is my solemn duty to present to you chapter 25 of ‘My Immortal’.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111

You’ll tell Justin, will you? You tell Justin. I want to meet Justin. I want to slip Justin some unmarked banknotes and a heavy brick.

n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111

I call bull****. Nerds are desperate for female companionship, yeah, but not that desperate.

FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1

XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was so excited. I fellowed Draco

…Fellowed? Behold, Ladies and Gentlemen, a genuine Freudian slip.

wandering if we where going 2 do it again.

A hint: Yes.

We went outside and then we went into Draco’s black car.

“And then we went outside again, and then we went back into the car, and then we went on the bonnet, and then we came in the car.”

“Ebony what the **** did Profesor Trevolry say.” whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

You mean Professor ‘Diablo’? The goffick name that you came up for her yourself? Because the original names were all too ‘preppy’? Continuity means nothing to Ebony. NOTHING.

“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.”

“I would do it now, but that would decrease the length of the story, and we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

I grumbled in a sexy voice.

Yeah, that last sentence was real sexy, alright. I am unzipping my trousers as we speak.

He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it,

Draco never leaves home without a Cabaret. Life just isn’t worth living without a jaunty song and dance to narrate your every action.

and gave it to me to spork.

They sporked, all right. They sporked alllll night.

He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.

“I’m gonna cut myself, gonna cut myself to make the pain go away…”

If you get that reference then congratulations! You visit at least one of the same websites I do. Add a plus one to your geek score.

“And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.”

Gerald Way is just so deep and mysterious! If I could only ease his pain… Wait, are you still here? Uh, Gerald Way sucks donkey balls lawl roflcopter! Close call, that.

sang Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently.

“Damn it Ebony, we need to tile this cloves now or we’ll never graduate potions clbum!”

He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar.

“…Which he then used to beat me to death.”

I took of his black boxers.

Black… Black like my SOUL!

Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

“Uhn… Ebony… This spanner’s so tight…”

As a side note, the word ‘tool’ in slang refers to male’s genitals. The obvious joke would be to do something based around that, but I like to defy expectations.

“OMFG Draco Draco!” I screamed having an orgism.

That was quick. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Unless she really does have male genitals, in which case I have no desire to explore this matter further.

We stated frenching pbumively.

Because at this point, it’s just a formality.

Suddenly………… I fell asleep.

Yeah, like I said, I don’t want to explore this topic any further.

I started having a dream. In it a black guy

Racist.

was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

Guess who these two men are! And wave goodbye to continuity for one final time, as he has hung himself from the rafters.

“No! Please don’t ****ing kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

“I really should have invested in some wheels, rather than just cut this hole in the bottom of the car. No, I said, it’ll be just like The Flintstones, I said.”

“No! Oh my ****ing god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.

Ebony sure runs the full gamut of emotions, doesn’t she?

“Ebony what’s wrong?” Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

“Other than the fact that you seem to suffer from narcolepsy and are regularly having violent visions of doom.”

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face.

As I have said before, tears of blood are counter productive for a vampire.

I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile.

Sorry, who are the posers again?

bum the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Serious & Lucian!111

Poor Continuity is currently swinging from the ceiling, his eyes bulging, his face blue, and with urine trickling down his leg and splashing onto the floor. He shall be missed. I suppose someone should cut him down, but I’m sure before long his rotting corpse will be called back from beyond, as a shambling mockery of both God and man.

I briefly considered filming myself writing this review, as a kind of ‘behind the scenes’ special feature. I quickly put a hold on those plans when I realised that 90% of the footage would be of me sobbing into my keyboard. Until next time.