The following is a rewrite of “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas”.

................................

................................

I want twelve brownie points for Christmas,

Only twelve brownie points will do,

Don’t want no scoops, no vibrating dildo toys,

I want twelve brownie points to spend and enjoy.

................................

I want twelve brownie points for Christmas,

I don’t think druss will mind much, do you?

He shouldn’t have to wait, until judging day,

Just give ‘em to me now, that’s the easy thing, okay?

................................

I can see me now, on Christmas morning,

Typing in my name,

Oh, what a joy, oh what a surprise,

To see my BP’s waiting there!

................................

I want twelve brownie points for Christmas,

Only twelve brownie points will do,

No special E-Peens, no rare equippables,

Only twelve BP will see my dreams fulfilled!

And I think that BP dream about me too!

................................

Trout says that I would eat them for a snack,

But then again, the doctor says I am a diabetic.

................................

There’s lots of room for them, in my online account,

I’d keep them there, and hope and wish for an even larger amount!

................................

I can see me now, on Christmas morning,

Typing in my name,

Oh, what a joy, oh what a surprise,

To see my BP’s waiting there!

................................

I want twelve brownie points for Christmas,

Only twelve brownie points will do,

No special E-Peens, no rare equippables,

Only twelve BP will see my dreams fulfilled!

And I think that BP dream about me too!