http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And if you say I’m wrong…. I will fight you.

Chapter 1:

Dobby relished his groin-mounted chainsaw’s roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut’s ruined skull. He turned to Harry.

“How does Ronnie Ron taste, master?”

Harry spat out an eyeball. “How am I supposed to eat Ron if you keep talking to me?”

Dobby ducked an astronaut’s poison barbed fist, digging his chainsaw into the beast’s abdomen and letting the spray of viscera wash over his gleaming elven space armor. The skulls’ eye sockets on his shoulders grew brilliant with infernal light, their power fed by the astronaut blood, and the skulls vomited a bolt of light through an astronaut leaping though the air; he was thrown back against the wall, his flesh boiling in another dimension. Harry snapped at Dobby.

“How are we going to complete the ceremony if you keep messing around?”

“Master, look out!”

Dobby’s groin-mounted chainsaw screamed an unholy curse as it flew off the armor, rocketing through the air like an early dream of mankind. It flew right through three astronauts who dropped their hellspears as the chainsaw cut a hole in the ground beneath them so they fell all the way to hell, where the devil raped them forever.

Chapter 2:

“Now is the time, Dobby.”

Dobby knelt before his master.

Harry withdrew his guitar, ****slayer, from a dimension where everything screamed.

Wrought from the silver heart of heaven.

Laced with vessels that pulsed with angel blood tempered by alchemy.

Hewn from the horns of Satan’s generals.

Harry swung the guitar and decapitated Dobby. He took the head of his fallen friendslave and tore open his stomach, stuffing the head inside. Harry vomited a river of steam and summoned a great meteor from space to smash into Hogwarts and kill everyone there, for no reason at all. A vision then appeared. It was Dumbledore, entombed in his cursed mummy armor, calling Harry from his Moonbase which wasn’t on a moon.

“Harry, you must rock the **** out.”

Harry channeled his rage through ****slayer. The angel blood boiled as he summoned the great meteor, swathed with the blood of the tiny ****lings at Hogwarts, leapt onto it, and flew into space. He encased the entire meteor in a wreath of holy ****fire and flew through mercury, killing the **** out of it. Then he sent the flaming debris of Mercury into Venus, killing the **** out of it and making every woman's genitals in the galaxy explode, and inside every woman's genitals a booby sang of our galaxy’s past and the fleeting nature of mortal life.

Harry then did fly his meteor through space, punching astral vampires in half with his fists encased in ****fire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on mars. Then Harry received another vision from Frumblegore, who was having tea with the president of Pangea.

“Care to have tea, Harry?”

“Tell the president to wait. I must save history.”