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Feature "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", the BEST Fan-Fiction ever.

Bix Nood

Avatar: 60260 2010-10-12 20:21:23 -0400
1

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 60 Troll

MUP DA DOO DIDDA PO MO GUB BIDDA BE DAT TUM MUHFUGGEN

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And if you say I’m wrong…. I will fight you.

Chapter 1:

Dobby relished his groin-mounted chainsaw’s roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut’s ruined skull. He turned to Harry.

“How does Ronnie Ron taste, master?”

Harry spat out an eyeball. “How am I supposed to eat Ron if you keep talking to me?”

Dobby ducked an astronaut’s poison barbed fist, digging his chainsaw into the beast’s abdomen and letting the spray of viscera wash over his gleaming elven space armor. The skulls’ eye sockets on his shoulders grew brilliant with infernal light, their power fed by the astronaut blood, and the skulls vomited a bolt of light through an astronaut leaping though the air; he was thrown back against the wall, his flesh boiling in another dimension. Harry snapped at Dobby.

“How are we going to complete the ceremony if you keep messing around?”

“Master, look out!”

Dobby’s groin-mounted chainsaw screamed an unholy curse as it flew off the armor, rocketing through the air like an early dream of mankind. It flew right through three astronauts who dropped their hellspears as the chainsaw cut a hole in the ground beneath them so they fell all the way to hell, where the devil raped them forever.

Chapter 2:

“Now is the time, Dobby.”

Dobby knelt before his master.

Harry withdrew his guitar, ****slayer, from a dimension where everything screamed.

Wrought from the silver heart of heaven.

Laced with vessels that pulsed with angel blood tempered by alchemy.

Hewn from the horns of Satan’s generals.

Harry swung the guitar and decapitated Dobby. He took the head of his fallen friendslave and tore open his stomach, stuffing the head inside. Harry vomited a river of steam and summoned a great meteor from space to smash into Hogwarts and kill everyone there, for no reason at all. A vision then appeared. It was Dumbledore, entombed in his cursed mummy armor, calling Harry from his Moonbase which wasn’t on a moon.

“Harry, you must rock the **** out.”

Harry channeled his rage through ****slayer. The angel blood boiled as he summoned the great meteor, swathed with the blood of the tiny ****lings at Hogwarts, leapt onto it, and flew into space. He encased the entire meteor in a wreath of holy ****fire and flew through mercury, killing the **** out of it. Then he sent the flaming debris of Mercury into Venus, killing the **** out of it and making every woman's genitals in the galaxy explode, and inside every woman's genitals a booby sang of our galaxy’s past and the fleeting nature of mortal life.

Harry then did fly his meteor through space, punching astral vampires in half with his fists encased in ****fire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on mars. Then Harry received another vision from Frumblegore, who was having tea with the president of Pangea.

“Care to have tea, Harry?”

“Tell the president to wait. I must save history.”

Patch The Da-
rknut

Avatar: 57089 Sat Jan 10 17:36:45 -0500 2009
5

Level 23 Emo Kid

In a sad way Raepdog misses you... Oh gay friend.. oh I love the gays..

Lolwut.

Kilroy

Avatar: 62524 Fri Dec 26 00:25:59 -0500 2008
7

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

That was the most beautiful thing I’ve read.

Ever.

Log in to see images!

BlankTH

Avatar: 26180 Wed Nov 19 19:43:39 -0500 2008
7

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Camwhore

Is gay for looming

I strongly disagree. I much prefer peter chimaera or squirrelking’s work.

Squirrelking:

Half-Life: Full-life Consequences

John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said “its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences” so he had to go.

John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said “its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys”.

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

“I cant give you my lisense officer” John Freeman said

“Why not?” said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

“Because you are headcrab zombie” so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking “my brother is in trouble there” and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw “Ravenholm” with someons writing under it saying “u shudnt come here” so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.

John Freeman said “Zombie goasts leave this place” and the zombie goasts said “but this is our house” and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.

Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said “John Freeman! Over here!” so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

Gordon Freeman said “its time to end this ones and for all!” and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said “thanks i could help, bro” and Gordon Freeman said “you should come here earlier next time” and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled “LOOK OUT BRO!” and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said “NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!” and John Freeman walked real fast out.

John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

“I’ll get you back evil boss!” John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?

BlankTH

Avatar: 26180 Wed Nov 19 19:43:39 -0500 2008
7

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Camwhore

Is gay for looming

Alternatively just watch the video:

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