I had no idea this thread existed. Oops.

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Its plastic eyes dig into my soul. Why is it always there? What blasphemous purpose could this fiendish idol have? Why is it that I dream of a great chicken, entrapped within a non-Euclidean temple?

In my researches, I have discovered a small but horrific cult located in Louisiana, dedicated to the awakening of their so called ‘God’. Due to my damnable curiosity, I managed to infiltrate their ranks and gaze upon their daemonic practises. To awaken Him. The great chicken. I have not been the same man since.

I beg of you Evil Trout, you cannot let this horror reside in your esteemed shop any longer! The consequences of doing so may be dire indeed…