That’s right, I’m talking to YOU

...because no one else does.

Did you ever stop to ask yourself why?

It’s time to face facts…

You’re a huge fabulous person with no friends and you need to die.

Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright, and I’ll tell you why:

Order Dr. Anansi’s Home Euthanasia Kit ™ now and your troubles will be over!

Dr. Anansi’s Home Euthanasia Kit ™ can be yours for the low low price of only $129.95!!! (we accept all major credit cards)

WOW!

Place your order today and get the “MY CONTINUED EXISTENCE IS A CURSE UPON HUMANITY” package, including same-day delivery at no extra charge!!! WOW!!!!

But wait, there’s more! Call within the next twenty minutes to receive the suicide note stationery pack absolutely free! Included are several extra sheets for failed attempts, and the clbumic cry-for-help-heard-too-late note, to make sure the people in your former life know your untimely demise is all their fault.

This is truly the opportunity of a lifetime. Don’t put off the inevitable until it’s too late! Order now, while supplies last.

Dr. Anansi’s Home Euthanasia Kit ™

1-800-NAO-UDIE

Visit us on the web at www.home-euthanasia.com