Twinkies are not food!

It’s true! I was talking just the other day to a guy in the produce department whose neighbor’s mail carrier used to work for Goodyear. Over there, this guy was a salesman, and his biggest sale each year was to Hostess: He sold them 8 billion pounds of premo rubber every year. One time he got a glimpse of the Hostess-side purchase order, and it said “for use in Twinkies manufacturing”, only the “manufacturing” part was hand-written in! Twinkies are made of rubber!

So your mom probably only has them in her mouth to stop her from getting AIDS from your landlord. She sure makes me use rubbers when I’m ****ing her in the bum!