First of all, I apologise for the belated (read: unacceptable) release time.

So, here I am again, going against my promise last time to kill myself. If you haven’t already guessed, it’s time for another chapter in the exciting saga of ‘My Immortal!’ If you read the first part, you’re probably wondering how it could possibly get any better. Well, prepare to stare at your computer screen and weep as we take a look at chapter 6. As always, constructive criticism is welcome, but don’t flame me, or I may not review the next chapter! And we wouldn’t want that now, would we? For those of you not well versed in the world of fan-fiction, this is a parody of the way they start their stories. I suppose if the joke was any good, it wouldn’t require explaining, would it? Ah well. On with the review!

Chapter 6

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

I’m willing to bet Ebony’s spelling checker died of shame during the writing of that sentence.

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The next day I woke up in my coffin.

As opposed to wherever she fell asleep yesterday. Narcolepsy is a serious problem nowadays.

I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears.

Ebony fell to the ground, writhing in agony. “Damn!” she yelled. “I forgot vampires were allergic to crosses!”

I spray-painted my hair with purple.

Interesting fact: purple is the colour of despair.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glbum of red blood.

Red blood is so pbumé right now. Why not try some green blood?

Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

Which was probably already red to begin with. Because she’s goffik, you see.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it.

It’s Harry, isn’t it? Somewhere, J.K Rowling weeps.

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick.

According to Ebony’s description, Harry Potter is wearing blackface. Why does this not surprise me.

He didn’t have glbumes anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

And lo! I gazed upon his for’head and gasped, for where once there was an ugly scar, I saw nothing! Shakespeare, eat your heart out.

He had a manly stubble on his chin.

“Which was odd, because he was only 12 years old.”

He had a sexy English accent.

Yes, we brits are quite something, aren’t we? Sometimes, I get aroused upon hearing my own voice.

He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

There are so many things I can do with that sentence that I don’t really know where to begin. When in doubt, reference away. ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

Harry can go from being shy to aggressive at the drop of a hat. Or any other article of clothing, knowing the author.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

Does Hogwarts not care that most of the student body are cannibals? I suppose that’s what you get when you invite Hannibal Lector to be the chef.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

Confessions of a wannabe vampire. Why hasn’t Anne Rice written that book yet? Oh yes. Because it would SUCK.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

“AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT, ****!”

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

I can only hope that the surprise is a stake to the heart.

Well, that’s it for chapter 6, thankfully. Next time, Draco teaches Ebony the joys of STDs. See you then, friends!