Biff! See, he’s fine. You’re all making a big deal out of nothing. Biff, if that’s Biff 2, he likes crickets. Give him a meal and he’ll calm right down. You can even pet him.

If it’s Janie 2 (she’s a little smaller and browner), she loves grbumhoppers (you can tell the difference between grbumhoppers and crickets, right?). While she’s munching on one, just slip a paper cup over her and slide her onto a piece of cardboard. Then you can pop her into a box or a jar. She loves to be spoiled and talked to.

If you put them in the same box, they’ll mate. That’s something special to watch.

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If I were Juliet

And you were Romeo

We wouldn’t ever worry

What other people know

We’d leave that town Verona,

And move out to the hills,

And spend our evenings making love,

and trying different pills.

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