Banjooie Posted:

okay, I’m no emo kid, but, like.

i was thinking, like, after a couple puffs of the Bridge’s good ****, like

I need to expand my ****in’ horizons, like, ****ing seriously, man

so I was thinking, like, Ophelia’s **** is off the chain, can you guys teach me how to do that ****?

To expand your horizons, first, expand your mind. You’re on the right track with the **** from Under the Bridge, but for a more inspiring high, try large quantities of Happidex and Smileprin.

Once you’re suitably antidepressed, you can start writing. Make sure to write whatever the **** comes into your head, as long as it sounds like you fap with a dictionary. Truly bad poetry should sound like you failed an English major for being too pretentious.

If you find yourself too spaced out on antidepressants to write, you can cut yourself to jolt you back to reality.

The most important rule to remember about emo poetry is that making sense is not optional, it’s forbidden.

Here’s an example:

meaningless contrast
evidently superficial
society superficial
damage has been
sustained release
me from my self
constructed self
identity crisis
management security
leak as been contained
within the aspect
of the dissociated
from reality