Dear Janie,

We have long known of this poor deluded poster’s latent homosexual tendencies. In time he will grow comfortable with expressing them more openly. Perhaps finally, in coming out of the closet, he will achieve the inner peace he so craves but cannot find. So in other words, Fenk is asking whether you mind sloppy seconds.

Please step into my office and make an appointment. Tomorrow let’s discuss your infatuation, as well as your tendency to place nasty hexes on the mentally handicapped.

All the best,

Dr. Anansi