Cubear Posted:

eponymous_ennui Posted:

Cubear Posted:

umm, i don’t know what sort of depraved life you think i have but honestly, that’s really messed up.

‘messed up’? no, i merely articulate what you fear to acknowledge.

was it too frank an examination of the human condition for you? were you disturbed by it because it echoed what you really felt every time you painted your lips and put on your mask? i know it is cold behind the mirror, where you have a mouth but may not scream. you have no friends, merely other puppets who dance to the same tune as you, closing their eyes and clasping manicured hands over their pierced ears so that they may not see the strings or hear the pantomime. you are worthless. no, you are more than worthless. measured against the vastness of the void, your egocentricity is merely a drop in an infinite ocean, a meandering winding road of endless self-deception and falsehoods.

it is not the bulimia that makes you throw up every time you eat a sandwich. it is not your vanity that makes you starve yourself, emotionally and physically. it is that cold pit of self-loathing you feel every time you look at yourself that makes you retch. on some sublime level you know you’re pathetic, and you hate yourself for that. but still, still you dare not cut beneath the surface of your skin to find the one answer you’ve been seeking for so long.

all your life, you’ve been living for this moment.

go on. you know you want to. it will be painless, and swift.

umm i am actualyl pretty happy with not being important in the grand sceme of things. we’ve only got a limited time to live, we might as well make the most of it.

always with the self-deception, always with the illusion, woven from the dreams of a dead city as it sleepwalks through a meaningless existence. it is a downwards spiral that will only end in the destruction of your self, do you not see? it is better to end it now than to lose the one thing you still have: your youth and beauty. for, after all, is that not the only thing you have? you’ve sold your self-respect for companionship, traded your integrity and pride for promises of love. but at least you’re still beautiful.

with what remains of your dignity, end it now. at least you will go with the knowledge that, in the most glorious hour of your existence, i knew you and mourned your pbuming. go, and know that you will live on forever in my mind, outlined in crimson and violet watercolours of a renaissance master.