Wait, Janie… Janie? You forgot your sa—-

OH, ****. Hey — I said I was sorry. Janie, come ba— Janie! Awww, damnit.

*Sits down and eats a tomato. Throws the beets at the wall.*

Why do I have to be such an bumhole. Face it, amaranthus, you may be a genius, but you’re really, really stupid. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! No wonder everyone ends up hating you in the end. God, even your own parents hate you. You’ve got to be pretty stupid to **** that up.

*Wanders back into laboratory, third door on the left.*

Monkey in a suit with a gun Posted:

Oh no…it can’t be. My day just can’t get any worse.

Are you even old enough to drive?

I don’t suppose you brought along my suit, and some aspirins and Alka Seltzer did you.

Sigh…well I suppose it’s better than walking, just please keep the noise down to a dull roar right? I have the worste headache you can possibly imagine, and I think I am seeing spots, and they are smiling at me.

*Hums the Doors song “Riders on the Storm”*

Won’t say a word. I’ll just play some music. I don’t suppose you want to take your luck on a random pill? Why does everyone think I’m not old enough to drive or whatever? Of course, your plant guy is just a jerk. Want the top down?

I don’t care if you play the radio QUIETLY.

And it might be better to have the top down in case I throw up again.

Just drive me back to the lab. Maybe the “plant guy” you don’t like can cook me up something for this hangover.

I don’t believe you won’t say a word, but it doesn’t matter because I am going to ignore you now.

I am IGNORING you now. NOT LISTENING!

Log in to see images! Monkey in a suit with a gun edited this message on 06/27/2008 1:07AM

Hmm… Interesting.

INCOMING TXT MESSAGE FOR 555-000M:

MR MNKY I HOPE U R FEELING BTR 2DAY. SRY ABOUT THE PILZ. CAN U TELL PLANT GUY IM SRY N I HOPE 2 C HIM AGN?

The Unknown Posted:

Ahh… good day to you all… plants, chemist, brainfreeze, and everyone else. I bumume you are all doing well?

I wouldn't say 'well' exactly.

Janie Posted:

Does anyone know where amanthus is? I really need his help.

It was Eucalyptus, Hyssop, Yarrow, Marjoram, Asafoetida, Bay Leaf & White Sage. I don’t know what Hyssop is or where to find it, let alone Asafoetida. If you see him, please have him get in touch with me. It’s really important!

I think this girl is starting to be a problem. Are you all so blinded by a bit of underage cleavage that you’ve allowed her to compromise our operation? I believe she should be dealt with.

Died Posted:

I think 00M normally trys to avoid interaction with civilians so I'm not sure why this one is different,
 I say 'get rid of her' but maybe I should wait to discuss this with another officer.

Good to know someone is thinking with his brains, anyhow. I’ll keep an eye on things for now.

Janie Posted:

Does anyone know where amanthus is? I really need his help.

It was Eucalyptus, Hyssop, Yarrow, Marjoram, Asafoetida, Bay Leaf & White Sage. I don’t know what Hyssop is or where to find it, let alone Asafoetida. If you see him, please have him get in touch with me. It’s really important!

Janie Posted:

Text message to amaranthus:

TTLY SRY I WZ SO RUDE NEED HLP RLY BAD. CLDNT FIND WHITE SAGE USD OREGANO INSTD. NOT SURE THAT WIL WRK WTH DEMONS. PLZ HELP IF U CAN.

Dear Miss Janie, I apologize for the late reply. I have been… indisposed. I understand you are in need of some plants, although I don’t really understand what for. Demons? Since most of my reference books do mention the traditional spiritual as well as medicinal uses of plants, I’ll tell you what I’ve read. But please understand that this spiritual stuff is beyond the scope of my experience (or belief).

All of the plants you’ve mentioned have well-known culinary and/or medicinal uses and should thus be fairly easy to find:

Log in to see images!

Asafoetida is commonly used in Indian and Persian cooking. When raw, it has a unpleasant, nauseating odor, but when cooked in oil or ghee its taste and aroma become more like those of onions or leeks.

Asafoetida has a number of traditional medical uses: It is used as a digestive aid and as a treatment for respiratory disorders.

Asafoetida is used in witchcraft to repel evil, keep off the law, and harm enemies. In Jamaica, it is traditionally applied to the soft spot on a baby’s skull to prevent spirits from entering the baby through it.

I do not grow Asafoetida in my garden, as I cannot stand the smell, and its medicinal uses are, well, peripheral to my own interests. It is readily available at ethnic food stores, however. Based on the picture above, they also sell it at Whole Foods.

Log in to see images!

Hyssop is a genus of about 10-12 species of herbaceous or semi-woody plants native from the Mediterranean east to central Asia. By far the best-known species is the Herb Hyssop (H. officinalis).

Hyssop has numerous medicinal properties: expectorant, anti-spasmodic, and anti-inflammatory. An essential oil made from hyssop is can increase alertness and ease nervous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression; however, it contains pino-camphone which in high doses can cause convulsions, so care is necessary.

In terms of its spiritual uses, tea made from Hyssop is used as a Spiritual Bath to take off a Jinx; it ca also be added to floor wash to clear away so-called Crossed Conditions at Home.

I have some hyssop growing in my garden, and I have some Hyssop Oil in my laboratory. If you drop by our HQ, I will give you some. If you cannot make it here, you should be able to find Hyssop leaves and/or oil in your local health food store or new-age bookstore.

Log in to see images!

Salvia apiana, also known as [b]white sage[/i], is an evergreen perennial shrub of the genus Salvia, the sages.

White sage is also used medicinally: It can be eaten, smoked, or made into a tea to treat colds, sore throats, and nausea.

White sage is believed to cleanse a space of any evil spirits that may be present. This power is said to be released from the plant by the burning of the leaves, which are typically bundled into a wand or stick. Today many Native American tribes still use the stems and leaves for smudging as part of purification ceremonies. The practice has also been adopted by some modern neopagans.

I do not grow white sage in my garden. You may be able to find it at a new-age bookstore or a sweat lodge.

Log in to see images!

Origanum vulgare, or oregano is native to Europe, the Mediterranean region and southern and central Asia.

It is used primarily as a culinary herb; however, it is also used to treat coughs and sore throats.

Oregano does not appear to have any traditional spiritual uses. You probably should look for some white sage, if that’s what your recipe calls for.

Best of luck, and please drop by for some Hyssop.

OK, I’m posting this from my phone.

First of all, thanks for nothing on the herbs.

Second, I woke up in some room on some island and nobody’s around and I don’t know what’s going on.

Third, the Monkey is definitely not having a reaction to hyslop or whatever, because I couldn’t find any. I used Oregano and Parsley. It was pretty lame, but I did manage to do what I needed by other methods.

I think, after all I’ve seen, I believe in the Monkatrice. But I’m a little freaked out about this island place. Do you know where it is?