Title: The Encephalitic Cephalopod

Word: appoggiatura

sdgrbbum09 Posted:

Title: The Encephalitic Cephalopod

Word: appoggiatura

Jerry glided across the ocean floor, his eight tentacles streaming behind him. “I am so alone” he thought, as a school of fish crossed his path. “Hello,” he started to call out, but they had already zipped away. He sighed, reminding himself that fish were terrible companions anyway, always acting on instinct and never stopping to think. As he considered this, Jerry noticed it had suddenly become dark. And he was alone. Turning his mbumive head upward, he saw something new. Something was blocking the sky. It was dark and large and sat just beneath the surface. Maybe it was a new kind of whale. Jerry had always liked whales, if from a distance. With a squirt of water, he propelled himself upward to meet it.

As he reached out with a tentacle, something fell from above into the water with a blorp and a whoosh and a watery boom. It was large, but not nearly as large as the thing above. It was traveling downward toward the bottom of the sea at an alarming rate. Had his new friend just given birth? The baby was in danger! Jerry followed the trail of bubbles, going deeper and deeper into the dark, cold sea. He saw it hit the side of a deep trench and plunge further down. Jerry swam headfirst into the darkness, enduring the increasing pressure on his head. He was having trouble seeing now, but he continued on.

And then, he saw it, resting on the sandy floor. Jerry rushed to its side, rebumuring it that it would be all right. And yet, Jerry knew that he could not carry this mbumive creature on his back. His stabbing headache worsened, but Jerry reached out gently with his tentacles and touched the creature. It was cold, like the sea, and hard. It had a strange set of white and black scales, and Jerry ran his eight tentacles over them, counting 88. He pushed down on the scales and a soft sound came out. Was it talking to him? He ran his tentacles over the slippery scales and the creature made more sounds, singing higher and lower, depending on his touch. A wave of happiness came over Jerry as he and the creature sang together, their harmony echoing around the cavern and traveling up to the surface. A lone fish stopped and listened, briefly, wondering at the dissonant appoggiatura that then resolved into an open chord before it finally fell silent.

At the bottom of the ocean, all was quiet. Jerry lay over his charge, never to be lonely again.

The title: My day as a Catholic pageboy

And, rather predictably, the word: Sodomy.

Title: The Final Hours of Rhinestone Cbumidy

Word: Sepia

­’A Day at the Children’s Intensive Burn Ward’ starring the word “euthanize”

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“The Encephalitic Cephalopod” was amazing sir. You managed to incorporate brain inflammation, mollusks, and musical ornaments and that is no easy task. Log in to see images!

“male reproductive organs in my bum, male reproductive organs in my bum, oh lawd, male reproductive organs in my bum.”

Word = Banned.

Detective Phil Marlot Posted:

The airlock opened and Captain Miller gently descended the steps of the shuttlepod, coming to a bouncing stop on the dusty red, Martian surface. He looked out from the helmet of his space suit at the area he would be surveying today: an unusual formation of rocks he had started calling “the church.”

Four long, smooth flat rocks in two rows formed the “pews” in front of a large, rectangular, altar-like stone. A former Catholic, Miller found the arrangement both disconcerting and fascinating.

As he walked forward, he began the audio recording. “Survey log: Friday, June 4, 2085. Beginning examination of the upper fourth quadrant of the church region. Similar to yesterday, the ground appears to have been disturbed overnight. Have not been able to find what is causing this — possibly a localized weather occurrence.”

As he reached the uppermost pews, something caught his eye. A small object was resting on the flat rock. It was his grandfather’s Purple Heart he had received during the Great Nuclear Holocaust, the event that had finally sent humans into space, for good. The last time he had seen the medal, he was eight years old. It was, as far as he knew, jettisoned into space with his grandfather’s remains. The medal was clean and free of dust, carefully and almost lovingly placed on the stone surface. It couldn’t have been there long.

“All right,” Miller said, into his communicator. “Which one of you clowns brought an unauthorized shuttlepod down here?”

“Uh, negative on that, Captain,” said the young lieutenant monitoring his progress from the space station. “The only off-station travel in the last 30 days has been you.”

Miller picked up the medal with his gloved hand and hesitating, put it into his specimen bag.

“What’s going on, Captain?” the lieutenant asked. “Nothing, Lieutenant,” said Miller. “As you were.”

Ah, Detective, you and your loopholes? A++ story, though without Catholic clown enjoy as I wanted.

“A Bird I Don’t Recall”

Word: exemplary