When Robin “Evil” Trout was a child, he lived a care-free life in the majestic lands of Canada. Frolicking for hours over the snowy hills. At night, he’d nestle into the warm folds of his mothers belt-line. If you had asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up, the answer was always the same. Be a superhero. Sadly, this dream would never come to fruition. When he was a mere boy of eight, he joined with a small survivalist outfit and learned how to live off the land. How to fight. And other… lewd things. On the eve of his sixteenth birthday, while the other members of this organization were holding a party for him, he discovered he had a power. A special power. A SUPER power. Using the money he had made from selling the skins of whatever animals live in Canada, he pieced together a suit and set off into the night.

Over the next few weeks the crime rate tripled. After a heated battle, he returned to his mothers house, panting and sweaty. He disrobed, and drew himself a bath. Just as he was dipping his foot into the water, a phone call interupted. “Mooooooooooooom, can you get that?” He screamed. She returned with a nasely “It’s for yoooooou”. He retreated to his room to get the phone. It was Mike. A friend of his from school. Mike told him a story about how he got a new nickname at school that day, after gym-clbum. Jalapeno Bootyhole. The boys in the locker room had said their phallus’s hadn’t stopped burning since that “Train” they ran on him. Talk quickly turned to the local vigilante. That’s when Mike said something that would change Robins world forever.

“I don’t know, man, it seems to me that sucking off some criminal isn’t really going to stop them. Like, I really don’t see sucking a mean male reproductive organ as Justice League material.” It was then that Robin realized that he was the reason for the crime wave. People were actually perpetrating acts of theft and violence just to get a quick blow-job. Robin kicked himself. Of course! male reproductive organ-sucking was more of a skill than a power. He had been so blind. The thought then crossed his mind that he could turn this skill into a real financial up-turn for himself. He started, like so many others, at the bus station. It was there, he met a crusty man-whore named Jason. Who had a penchant for screaming “NO! The other, other hole!” during his rounds. He, Mike, and his new-found college – Jason shacked up in a motel together. There they capitalized of their unique talents. Selling oral, anal, and… something else to pbuming tourists and truckers. It was during that time Robin met his true love. An older rouge by the name of Burt Ward. After a whirlwind romance, they married. Robin took on Burt’s last name, just as he bumumed the female role in the relationship. Thus, Robin “Evil” Trout Ward was born.

After the marriage, the trio decided to expand their brothel, and got online to purchase a website advertising their collective services. In another stroke of fate, they found out they could cheaply get a recycled domain name. Shamefully, the only one up for grabs was “Forumwarz”. They eagerly chipped in the money, and set up as “Forum Warz Whoring”. Although, at the time, Robin simply thought the name was pronounced “For, um… wares.”, in an attempt to avoid retribution from neighboring prostitutes that might get Jealous. A few years pbumed, and Robin finally got the idea to make a game about whoring, so he wouldn’t have to do it himself anymore. People would pay, right? So, he scrounged up some pocket change and bought a few programming books. And within a year, he had himself “Forumwarz, the camwhore experience”. But, due to the lack of attention he was getting at home, Burt divorced Robin, sending him into a spiral of depression he could not recover from. It was Mike who suggested he was becoming “emo” and he should get help. And he did. In the form of a bottle. After a year or so, his depression was staunched, but directed at everyone else. “From Emo to Troll”, The other, other hole (Now Bingebot), recalls. “So, I said **** it. You know? Put that **** in the game. Make it a game about the internet lifestyle.”

And that, dear readers, is how it all went down. Stay tuned for chapter two.

I always wondered how it all started.

AAHZ Posted:

if im not in this it fails on principle.

If I recall correctly, he dogreat timesents “The Aahz wars”.

Part 2? I’m waiting for the rest.

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Now that the newly formed Crotch Zombie group (Named for what the trios male reproductive organs had become) had a game, they needed a player-base. Word of mouth spread quickly, and people began playing. With a wicked scheme to make cash, Crotch Zombie totally ripped of the mechanics of Something Awful. Allowing players to donate money to change player avatars and titles. Of course, with so few players the monetary gain was little. All this changed with the inception of a few high spirited players (AAHZ) and a few new klans, **** You and Team Short Bus. Of course, there were a few serious players. Players such as Velveteen and the members of the klan Srsly. Brainfreeze arose for those players who were tired of the long tedious grind and longed for excitement in domination. The list of wonders that issued forth from this golden age is long and beautiful. <male reproductive organ joke removed> <Exploit list removed for time. Please see KoLoL for an example>

With people actively trolling the player-base, the people had something to hate. And that something hated them back. Pranks flew back and forth until Crotch Zombie was a powerhouse of capital gain. Flambate was a constant flurry of expletives and role-playing. Day to day these things didn’t change. Flamebate was at its height of quality postings. Bird of Prey, Biff Tannen, Nanafabulous personjesus and many others put up a good fight. But, as rumor has it, Crotch Zombie had stumbled upon a shock image so vile it could blind a person at mere sight. The plan was simple, keep flambate **** and reap the monies. One by one CZ began injecting the image into tubmails aimed at good posters. The ‘bate slowly fell into turmoil. The mundane ravaged the game, but, that was just the true colors shining through. With the quality removed, the average posters began dropping. Who could have foreseen such a thing (Swine edit – anyone with a brain). Trout had a plan, it seemed, to keep his dwindling numbers high. He made an announcement that resonated throughout all the forums. Episode two would be arriving shortly.

Episode two, apparently, was a ploy to suck more money out of the corpse of Forumwarz. There was nothing brilliant or wonderful about it. With it came begging, and contests, and more ****ting up of Flamebate. (Edit – Now I’m depressed) There was hope for the game, however. But, that’s for another chapter.

Me want chapter 3!!!!!!

Chapter 3.

And then there was Aldo.

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I am willing to spend a whole ha’penny to see that this thread be continued. Log in to see images!