You are currently looking at Flamebate, our community forums. Players can discuss the game here, strategize, and role play as their characters.
You need to be logged in to post and to see the uncensored versions of these forums.
Show me the funny and I'll show you 4 bp
|
|||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” He says. “That’s cool.” Says Bobby. Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie’s father responds, “Why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.” Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie’s Dad to repeat it. “Yeah,” says Carrie’s father, “Carrie really likes to screw; she’ll screw all night if we let her!” Well, this just made Bobby’s eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: “DAMMIT DADDY! IT’S CALLED THE TWIST!!!” |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:22PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View leftalon2cry's Profile
|
#
  |
||||||
|
After a long and hot sex session, the guy notices the picture of another man on the girl’s table. He starts worrying: “Is he your husband?” he asks nervously. “No, silly”, she replies, taunting him softly. “Then is he your boyfriend?” he continues, slightly more relaxed. “No, he’s not” she wispers into his ear. “Is he your brother or dad?” he asks, hoping to get an affirmative answer. “No, no, no” she replies. “Then who the hell is he?” he asks, slightly irritated. “That’s me, before the operation”. |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:25PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
I don’t think these count but what the hell I’m still posting them. Log in to see images! Log in to see images! Log in to see images! Log in to see images! |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:30PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View leftalon2cry's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Log in to see images! |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:31PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View leftalon2cry's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
An American, a German, and a Romanian have a car accident at a junction.
The American: Damn it, my Ford! I saved 3 months to buy this car. The German: Damn it, my Mercedes! I saved 5 months to buy this car. The Romanian: Damn it, my Dacia! I saved my entire life to buy this car. To this, the other two reply: Why the hell did you buy an expensive car anyway? Probably not funny unless you are a Romanian, or take some geo-socio-political clbumes, or you have a Romanian friend who explained the joke, but I’m posting it anyway Log in to see images! |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:35PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
(Heard after I moved to Essex, UK)
Q: What’s yellow, brown, yellow, brown, yellow…? A: An Essex girl doing cartwheels. |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:37PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and for occupation she put prostitution.
The tax collector explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation.
She said she’d have to go home and think about it and that she’d call him back in a hour with her occupation.
An hour later she called him and said, “I’ve got it… I’m a chicken farmer.”
He said, “How do you get chicken farmer out of prostitution.”
She said, “I raised over a thousand male reproductive organs last year.” |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:44PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Uplink Posted:
I heard that as: “What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde…?”
“A naked blonde doing cartwheels.”
Also, I’d like an explanation of the Romanian joke, if you please. Log in to see images! |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:45PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Miss Prince's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
An old guy goes into a bank to take out a loan. Fearful that the man may not be able to repay the loan because of his age, the clerk asks: – How old are you? – I’m 70. – Why do you need a loan at your age? – It’s for my father’s wedding. – Your father’s wedding? How old is he? – He’s 95. – And at his age he wants to get married? – Well, he doesn’t really want to, but his parents are making him do it. |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 10:57PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Miss Prince Posted: |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:10PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Y’all unfunny bastards. Megaspel was banned for this post by Evil Trout Megaspel edited this message on 07/23/2009 2:25PM |
|||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:17PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Megaspel's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
“What do you do for a living?”
“I work in finances and IT” “Finances and IT? Do you mean you do cashpoints?” Cashpoint = ATM in the US |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:22PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
I once got asked if I ever misused controlled substances. I answered: “Yes, I did. Once I mistakingly snorted hash thinking it was cocaine”. |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:30PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
In Heaven:
The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell:
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.
– – – –
And now some nerdy Physical Anthropology jokes. – – –
Why are there skunks in North America? It’s the survival of Mephitis
– – –
How do you sex a skull/innominate? In private.
– – – Now a history nerd joke (and reputed anecdote)! – –
A friend who had recently believed he had talked Oscar Wilde out of homosexuality called on him at a hotel where he was staying, only to find him in bed with the bell-hop. The friend exclaimed to Wilde “I thought you had turned over a new leaf!” To which Wilde replied “I will, as soon as I get to the bottom of this paige.” Drunkenlazybastard edited this message on 02/20/2009 11:47PM |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:37PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Drunkenlazybasta...'s Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:38PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Did I mention y’all unfunny bastards yet because you are. |
|||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:42PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Megaspel's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
Megaspel Posted:
Oh wait, look, I did. |
|||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:43PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Megaspel's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Megaspel Posted: I LOLed at your comment. Still ROLF-ing. Uplink edited this message on 02/20/2009 11:50PM |
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:46PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Uplink's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
Everyone must know this one by now, but…
A duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “You got any duck food?”
The bartender says, “No, get out of here, we don’t have any duck food.” The duck leaves.
Next day the duck comes right back into the bar and asks, “You got any duck food?”
The bartender is pretty annoyed, and says, “No, we don’t have any duck food, get the hell out of my bar!” The duck leaves.
The next day the duck comes back again and asks, “You got any duck food?”
The bartender is livid at this point. “No! We don’t have any duck food, and if you come in here and ask that one more time, I’m gonna nail your little webbed feet to the floor!” The duck leaves again.
The next day, the duck comes back yet again and stands there staring at the bartender.
Finally the bartender can’t take it anymore and says, “Well?! Are you going to ask me the same question again?!”
The duck male reproductive organs its head. “You got any nails?”
The bartender is so surprised he forgets to be angry. “No, we don’t have any nails.”
“Well then… you got any duck food?”
|
||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:55PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Miss Prince's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
|
What’s the difference between an Elephant and a Plum? Their Color.
What did Paul Revere shout to warn the Americans of the British advance? The British are coming!
What did Tarzan shout when his jungle was being invaded by elephants? The Elephants are coming!
What did Jane shout when the jungle was being invaded by the elephants? The Plums are coming!
Why? She was colorblind. Log in to see images!
|
|||||||
| Posted On: 02/20/2009 11:57PM |
Rate this Post: 0
View Magilla's Profile
|
#
|
||||||
