amaranthus's Flamebate Posts

****, man! Who keeps ****ing with my lab?

Monkey in a suit with a gun Posted:

Agent, as funny as it would have been to sneak into your lab and mess with ****, it wasn’t any of us.

Uh, yeah. Har-de-har-har.

As for the annoying girl, I had people bumigned to watch her, that girl is more trouble than the KGB was…I miss those days, the cold war…*sigh*

Well, hire a better babysitter next time. Who knows what she might have gotten her hands on in my lab. Sigh… I know she means well, and her curiosity about botany is actually quite refreshing… but she has a tendency to… well… get in over her head sometimes.

Anyway as for your lab, that message on the chalkboard, it’s been turning up everywhere[...]

Is it the same as the previous one? The one in an alphabetic cipher?

I have an idea of what might be going on, but I need to make a few more things add up before I say anything.

Sure, whatever. That’s, like, your job, right?

...well let’s just say that our communications may be compromised, and I am working on a way to get them secure once again.

Clearly, more than just our communications have been compromised. ****, man… when I came here, I was promised access to a secure facility.

Well, anyways, has anyone seen the samples the girl promised in her note? Probably a couple of ounces of putrid, bloody meat and some bone shards?

And… seriously, guys, what about this Weekly World News ****? Why does it have yesterday’s date on it? I mean, really, it did cease publication last year, right? Or am I having false memories…?

Message for amaranthus

Alice Liddell Posted:

i doubt it, given my previous record of that being said to me~

I just have some… academic interest in things you may know about. It’s purely academic from my perspective. And, of course, I may be able to help you in return.

Message for amaranthus

What the— WHO IS THIS?? ****, man. Ever since I left school and came here… all this crazy ****… ****ing robots, flying monkey demons, WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING TO ME? Maybe… is this some kind of mental institution? ****, maybe I wasn’t careful enough with my herbs.

****, man! Who keeps ****ing with my lab?

So, I come back from the funeral of Gentlemens, and I’m feeling a bit shook up, so I go into my lab thinking I can find some solace there, and, like, what the ****, man, someone’s been in there. Again.

Apparently, I left the door open or something BECAUSE I WAS A LITTLE UPSET ABOUT GENTLEMEN, and everyone just thinks “Hey, amaranthus’ lab is open, let’s go check it out!” And there’s like, ****ing BINARY code all over the chalkboard, and a note from the kid, and some kind of ****ing tabloid.

Check it out:

My blackboard

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The note

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And, I mean, seriously, what the ****? She’s just a kid, and she’s risking her life, and none of you stupid ****s tried to stop her?. I mean, I know she’s a nuisance but she’s kind of our responsibility when she’s in our… um… care, don’t you think? (But, of course, none of you think, now do you.)

And, finally, here’s the tabloid

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I mean, seriously, who the **** reads this ****? It’s embarrbuming. ****. And, like what’s with the monka— hey! What the hell! Didn’t that thing stop publishing a year ago? What the…

****. Janie! JANIE! WHat the **** are you trying to pull here?

CLOSED: win a free car contest wooooo

Hey guys. I’m not in this. Just saying hey.

Here, chew on these.

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Betel nuts, the seeds of the Betel palm (Areca catechu), are chewed throughout South and South-East Asia for their effects as a mildly euphoric stimulant, attributed to the presence of relatively high levels of psychoactive alkaloids and terpineols. Chewing betel nuts increases the capacity to work, also causing a hot sensation in the body, heightened alertness and sweating. It should be noted the effect of chewing a few betel nuts is milder than drinking a cup of coffee.

Good luck to both of you. You, too, Round!

2 more dead

Gentle…. Gentlemen… Gentlemen is DEAD?? Wha— but… This makes no sense.

Asleep at the wheel? Very unlikely; just before he left, he took 6 grains of extract of Kola, which I gave him myself. He would have been mentally and physically more alert and focused than ever. The slight euphoria would not have been enough to distract him. I think this should be considered a suspicious death.

Let's make this thread count!

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PRIORITY MISSION

Well, I’ve gone back through the records, and he seems to have uttered a number of threats against community members… references to killing people and pets and to… eating people. I believe that both you and Ms. Trent were threatened thus.

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/215503

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/215831

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/214942

Also, he has been predicting “downpours of evil” and the end of the world.

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/214317

Perhaps more discomforting is his constantuse of bold caps yelling.

And then, possibly worst of all, is his incontinence/poo-flinging problem.

Now, I don’t believe in god, demons, or the end of the world. Religious experiences can be explained in terms of neurochemical and phytochemical processes in the brain, and religion as an attempt to explain these experiences, but such consistent sociopathic behavour… it’s often a harbinger of random, senseless violence.

If we had him in our facility… well, I could do some tests and maybe find a treatment for his illness. Or at least I’d have a subject for my, erm, pharmacological research.

P.S. My eyes are hazel. Why do you ask?

Last post wins 3 BP

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Sapindus is a genus of about five to twelve species of shrubs and small trees. Common names include soapberry and soapnut, both names referring to the use of the crushed seeds to make soap.

Soapnuts are used medically as an expectorant, emetic, contraceptive, and for treatment of excessive salivation, epilepsy, chlorosis, and migraines. Studies show that saponin from soap nuts inhibits tumor cell growth.

Soap nuts contain saponin, a natural detergent which is used to clean clothes, tread greywater, and remediate contaminated soil. Since they do not not leave the residues bumociated with more familiar soaps and synthetic detergents, soap nuts (or concentrated extracts thereof) can be used for cleaning in situations where discretion is a must.

INCIT Killer

I think there’s a simpler solution. The scene was “cleaned” by these guys: Crime Scene Steri-Clean, LLC.

Now, when they cleaned up this scene, they will have had to collect all the blood, bits of “meat,” and brain matter that stuck to the cement… Apparently, brain matter dries to a cement-like consistency. Ugh. This is why botany is much more palatable than zoology.

Anyways, to dispose of the blood and gore, they have to pay to burn it in a medical-waste incinerator. The incinerator they use is at the site of the former Garden Valley hospital. The place looks like a derilect building now, but there are still a morge and an incinerator in operation. They’re just not… publicized much. Anyways, Garden Valley has a minimum amount they’ll burn, and even with all the **** that’s been going down around here lately, it’s only every few months that they get that much to send. So Steri-Clean has to store it in the meantime.

Anyways, as you can imagine, the industry finds it hard to attract skilled workers, and there’s a very high turnover due to the traumatic nature of the work. Thus, they’re usually hiring. And by usually, I mean now. Check it out:

http://www.crimecleaners.com/employment

So, if one of us can get the job… Note that it lists “excellent physical condition” as one of the hiring prerequisites. Unfortunately, that eliminates numerous members of our organization.