amaranthus's Flamebate Posts

Lab Results

Agents:

Thanks to Miss Trent’s cleav— er, clever thinking, she was able to get into the Crime Scene Steri-Clean warehouses and secure us sample of the tissue collected from the scene of “Murderousness’” death.

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Miss Trent also snagged a tissue sample from guardrail at the scene of Gentlemens’ death.

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Those two weird girls that hang around here (I think they call themselves Janie and Noturnal_Heartache) also got us a sample from nanafabulous personjesus’ car tires.

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I, well… when I suggested that we should get these samples, I was kind of bumuming that an agency of this calibre would have some sort of forensic anthropologist on staff, but apparently I bumumed wrong… Anyways, I have done the work myself. I managed to remember enough of first year genetics to compare DNA samples from these tissues with ones we had on file.

You guys owe me big time. I’ll have bad trips for a month.

The results are, well… interesting, to say the least:

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First of all, the sample gathered from “Murderousness” is… well, not Murderousness. It does not appear to belong to anyone we have on file. But it seems quite likely that someone wanted us to think that it was Murderousness.

Second, and it pains me to say this, the sample gathered from the guardrail really does belong to Gentlemen. I’m sorry.

Third, the sample taken from nanafabulous personjesus’s car is very mysterious, although probably not of interest as far as this case is concerned. It was, well… not human DNA, but very human-like. At first, I thought it might belong to a non-human primate, perhaps an escaped monkey from the zoo, but the profile did not match any of the simian DNA profiles listed in the Smithsonian’s database. It was… well… more human than that. So I… well, I tested it against that Bigfoot head you guys have in the barn, and… yeah. Nana seems to have killed a Sasquatch. So she’s not a person of interest in the current case, but we may wish to talk to her in the future.

But for now, we are left with some very pressing questions:

(1) Where is Murderousness?

(2) Who wants us to believe that Murderousness is dead, and why?

I must sleep now. 72 hours of poking away at bits of meat is exhausting, even with the help of stimulants. Please ponder these questions, and let us discuss them at our earliest convenience. Preferably after 12 noon.

CLOSED: Guess the release date of Episode 2 and win 3 BP

August 27

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Erythroxylum coca is native to north-western South America. The plant plays a significant role in traditional Andean culture.

The pharmacologically active ingredient of coca is the alkaloid cocaine; other alkaloids, including methylecgonine cinnamate, benzoylecgonine, truxilline, hydroxytropacocaine, tropacocaine, ecgonine, cuscohygrine, dihydrocuscohygrine, nicotine and hygrine are also present in the leaf. When chewed, coca acts as a mild stimulant and suppresses hunger, thirst, pain, and fatigue.

Although coca leaf chewing is common only among the indigenous populations, the consumption of coca tea (Mate de coca) is common among all sectors of society in the Andean countries.

Traditional medical uses of coca are foremost as a stimulant to overcome fatigue, hunger, and thirst. It is considered particularly effective against altitude sickness. It also is used as an anaesthetic to alleviate the pain of headache, rheumatism, wounds and sores, etc.

Coca is used industrially in the cosmetics and food industries. Coca-Cola, which contained cocaine until 1903, is now flavoured with “spent” coca leaves — those that have been through a cocaine extraction process — prepared by the Stepan Company in Maywood, New Jersey, using a process monitored by the Drug Enforcement Administration. Coca leaves are also a natural flavouring ingredient in Red Bull Cola, launched in March 2008.

Something I have long wondered: Wouldn’t a by-product of de-cocainized coca leaves be… cocaine? What is this Stepan company doing with all of that “byproduct?”

orb

TeeKayEff Posted:

Holy ****, I love arachnology.

My favorite spider is definitely the Trapdoor “Neil Young” Spider.

Generally, my interest is in botany — zoology not so much. But I make exceptions for spiders and insects that are beneficial to the gardener.

I remember reading in the news this spring that a trapdoor spider was named after Neil Young (myrmekiaphila neilyoungi), but I can’t find any good pics online. There’s just one picture everywhere, and it doesn’t have anything to give a sense of scale.

If you have one, that would be great.

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EDIT: Damnit, they disabled hotlinking to my original pic.

TGC Headquarters Shocker!

*tosses fitfully in his sleep*

TGC Headquarters Shocker!

Monkey… hi…. Sorry…

I-I made some tea… bark from ET’s garden… am-amphetamines… too much…

Bad… bad trip. Bad trip. Very bad. *shudder*

The barn… old c-cow bones? And j-jars of pickles I guess… th-they looked weird…th-the drugs. Bad trip. Aliens. Fairies. B-bigfoot.

I— OH, GOD! PLEASE TELL ME I IMAGINED IT!

TGC Headquarters Shocker!

Noturnal_Heartache Posted:

Yeah! But I think it might just be a deer nana might have ran over at some point. We should dissect it anyway. You know, I never got to dissect frogs in school. I feel like I’ve missed out in a really valuable life experience.

Don’t you have some sort of plant that can bring you back to normal? I’ve got a bunch of pills with me if you want to try some. Don’t worry, I picked all the laxatives out.

Oh, did you want to sleep? Your lab is pretty cool.

Antidote… no. There’s n-no antidote for… amphetamines. M-maybe I sh-should sleep. I might h-have something… to help me.

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W-withania somnifera. N-nightshade…family. Hyp…notic. Sedative. Helps… sleep. J-just have to eat some… berries.

Please… no more bad dreams…

W-wait. Please don’t d-do stuff in my lab. I m-mean, p-please wait… until tomorrow. I will… I will show you.

People… always messing… with my lab.

TGC Headquarters Shocker!

Noturnal_Heartache Posted:

That seems like a pretty intense tea. Are you sure I can’t have any?

I always thought Cheney was a robot too! So what are you going to do now? By the way, I brought the sample that Janie found. Are you going to dissect stuff? Can I help?

Y-you’re a friend of Janie’s? I- I was rude to her… Tell her I said… hi. And… thanks for th-the sample. Sample?

Sample… n-nana’s car. Very… h-helpful. Not… n-now, though. K-kind of… woozy. M-must lie down.

Y-yes. You can help m-me to-...morrow. Tomorrow.

So dizzy. Must clear my head. Too… too many thoughts. Distracting.

Please… if you see Monkey… tell him I need to t-talk… talk to him in the morning.

The tea… it-it’s not good. Don’t… you’ll j-just get sick. Not… helpful. Too many thoughts. Bad.. dreams.