The Unknown Comic's Flamebate Posts

I tried to kill myself yesterday

Patch The Darknut Posted:

Yes, there is.

I know you would never do something like this, but…don’t kill yourself over it, okay buddy? They don’t understand.

I tried to kill myself yesterday

I don’t get serious too often in this act, folks, but sometimes reality breaks through my fortress of chuckles. I composed this poem about some heavy issues, I hope you all like it.

I READ THE NEWS TODAY, OH BOY

ABOUT A SUCKY MAN WHO MADE THE GRADE

AND THOUGH THE NEWS WAS RATHER BAD

I JUST HAD TO LAUGH

I SAW THE PHOTOGRAPH

HE ATE SOME TYLENOL FROM A JAR

HE HADN’T NOTICED THAT HIS PLIGHT WAS VAIN

A CROWD OF PEOPLE POSTS AND CHEERS

THEY’D SEEN HIS FACE BEFORE

NOBODY WAS REALLY SURE, BUT I’M PRETTY BORED

AND I’M NOT SCARED OF HIM DYING

AND I DON’T REALLY CARE

IF IT’S PEACE HE FINDS IN DYING

WELL LET THE TIME BE NEAR

AND WHEN HE DIES AND WHEN HE’S GONE

THEY’LL BE ONE TARD BORN

IN THE WORLD TO CARRY ON

NOW TROUBLES ARE MANY, THEY’RE DEEP AS…WELL…

I CAN SWEAR THERE AIN’T NO HEAVEN

BUT I PRAY THAT THERE’S A HELL

SWEAR THERE AIN’T NOT HEAVEN

PRAY THERE’S EXTRA HELL

BUT I’LL NEVER KNOW BY HIS LIVING,

ONLY HIS DYING WILL TELL

IF IT’S PEACE YOU FIND IN DYING

AND DYING TIME IS NEAR

JUST WEAR A FLUFFY SWEATER

CAUSE IT’S COLD WAY DOWN THERE

I HEAR IT’S COLD WAY DOWN THERE

SO ****ING COLD WAY DOWN THERE

YEAH YEAH YEAH COLD WAY DOWN THERE

MIGHTY COLD WAY DOWN THERE

COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD

SUICIDE IS BAD!

srs no trolls

Time for another one of my sporadic rants

fine upstanding member of societyWR Posted:

I PLAY THIS GAME. THIS GAME IS GAY. BY THE TRANSITIVE PROPERTY I LOVE male reproductive organS IN MY MOUTH, MY bum, AT HOME, OR ON THE GO. male reproductive organS male reproductive organS male reproductive organS. BLACK male reproductive organS, WHITE male reproductive organS, ASIAN, male reproductive organS, MEXImale reproductive organS. I HAVE A male reproductive organ COLLECTION THAT HAS male reproductive organS OVER 100 YEARS OLD. 100 YEARS OLD? THAT’S RIGHT 100 YEARS OLD. OF COURSE I DON’T HAVE A male reproductive organ ATTACHED TO ME BODY, I TRADED IT IN WHEN THIS GAME MADE ME START MENSTRUATING, BUT I DO **** FROM MY TEAR DUCTS SO IT’S EVEN MORE ANNOYING AND SMELLY WHEN I CRY.

Open Mic Night

Open Mic Night

Raepdog Posted:

Hey You! Only joke in your act is you!

The Manine Is Looking For Some Hot ****es (Dogs and Girls)

You might be interested in my ex-wives. There were real ****es!

And by that I mean they had three rows of mammary glands!

ALL OF THEM

I MARRIED GENETIC MUTANTS!

Open Mic Night

Team Shortbus Recruitment Thread

Shortbus? More like Short BUZZ am I right?

Have you seen the haircuts on these guys. Like more conservative Bob Newharts!

It's My Birthday! All I Want Is 1 BP!

Petition To make ForumWarz Open Source

I think ChunkyLover should keep arguing this point. It really seems like he’s about to convince everybody.