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Duroth's Flamebate Posts
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Official Forumwarz contest: Create your own emo-ku!Razors cut my wrist Log in to see images! But why won’t the cut bleed? Log in to see images! Awww, that’s right -thrombosis Log in to see images! (view post) |
06/17/2008 |
Possible Veado E-Peen BugCheaters ALWAYS win.
We, who like to take shortcuts, salute you. (view post) |
03/31/2008 | |
Possible Veado E-Peen BugDid anyone get the Veado E-Peen? My forum history page says “You have pwned 24 different forums in a row.”, but i didn’t receive the E-Peen.
PS: Log in to see images! (view post) |
03/31/2008 | |
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WEG0TLAID - Bigger is better.Talking about bum cirgreat timesference, man. (view post) |
03/23/2008 |
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Well played, sisters.If you read every three letters you get the ‘I have a dream’ discourse in pig latin . (view post) |
03/21/2008 |
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PoetryIf you want to **** at ease. Place your elbows on your knees. A little grunt, A little squeeze. And out they come Like rotten cheese. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryToilet poets when they die will find erected in the sky a fitting tribute to their wit a statue made of solid ****
sit not upon this toilet seat the crabs in here can jump six feet and if you think that this is high go next door the bastards fly (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryThe toilet brush is an amazing tool It’s long and bushy and sits by the stool,
To be used by those who don’t have a mind; Who often seem to be quite blind
To those messy skids and deposits Left in the once clean toilet faucet,
Ignored for other people to come and see Just how selfish and unclean someone can be! (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryMy lid is quite round, It has two screws people sit on me and **** sometimes reading the news it gets on my wick I wish I could decide which arse fits me best one that’s small or one that’s wide.
I get clean from the bleach but my rim’s hard to reach so they flush and they flush I get poked with a brush but as the days come and as the days go I just cry to myself I’m just a smelly old po and some times it’s worse cuz the **** just wont go!
My water is blue, well sometimes its clear I hate it went drunk men want a **** and come near cuz they cant stand up straight and aim at my middle they spray and they miss, then my seats covered in piddle.
Now that’s just one of the many things that I hate to be honest the life of a toilet ain’t great I’m sat on, then **** on, then ****ed on some more I cringe when i see someone come through the loo door I’m telling you man it does my head in sometimes I’m just treated like a **** and **** bin.
There has to be more that’s out there for me I’m fed up of this life taking crap, its not hard to see so if your sat on me and here just to think remember the life of a toilet does stink but all said and done in the grand scheme of it all I’m only a seat and a flush and a watery hole.
But women are bad, its like getting a muggin’ I know once a month your bits need a plug in the thing that you use should be put in a bin cause flushing it down me is a cardinal sin and I get so damn queasy to see a tampon with blood in.
So next time you visit please show some respect and wipe me as well, its how your own arse is kept and when you are done, please show some affection I don’t want to give the next person infection so give me a clean its not hard to do and please stop me looking like I’ve **** myself too! (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryWhat is a fart, but a natural thing. Just something to make, your derriere sing
Yes it is true, some do smell a lot. Like something had died, and started to rot.
Some are too wet, and come with a prize. When there’s too much gravy, on that order of fries.
Then there are silent ones, the deadliest of all. They can sneak up on you, if you’re not on the ball.
With an odor so bad, you’ll drop to the floor. A stench that’s so rotten, you’ll head for the door.
But I won’t hold back, and I’ll fart every time. Because it’s all natural, and I’m feeling just fine. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryA toilet is, the center of life. To pee alone, is a god given right.
A toilet is, a place you can think. It’s easier than, to sit on the sink.
A toilet is, a friend to all drunks. Supports you all night, when hurling up chunks.
A toilet is, a place for your buns. That you appreciate, when having the runs.
A toilet is, used by us all. It’s universal, to answer the call.
A toilet is, just what it is. It gets rid of our crap, in a river of ****. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryA poem about potties by a literature major Would be an affront, to their truest of nature A respectable author would never sink so low To write about farts and how they can blow
They crone about sunsets so beautifully bright Never some movement you had that same night All must conform to what the learned half thinks To smell their own crap, would just prove that it stinks
They believe in the subject, not how well it’s displayed They should ponder of silk, or how it is made No matter the dressings, we all do the same dance And even an artist, can mess his own pants (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryFive long hours on the throne Sitting here all alone Trying to pbum, this kidney stone Hoping it’s not a chicken bone
As it gushes from my bum I start to wonder what is what Am I sane, or am I nuts No, it was just a fart with guts (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryHere in the solitude, of this metal sided box Water is a tidal wave, when you drop in huge rocks It gets you all wet, and drenches your seat Then drips down your leg, all the way to your feet
I can feel the tremors, with everyone dropped But this disembowelment, just can not be stopped Now they’re shooting out, like a thousand machine guns I’d swear there was smoke, coming out of my buns
Then there’s the smell, of the dead you might think Enough to kill the witnesses, just by the stink And when I’m all done, I’ll have a frown on my face Because I was the one, that stayed put in his place (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryArtsy, fartsy, had a big arsie and didn’t know what to do So he bent over, and oh what an odor he killed with the fart that he blew (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryWhen it hits you, you won’t control it You’d better run, but don’t you blow it Try to squeeze, and you just might slow it
Now start to look, for some washroom signs The ones they hide, at those desperate times And you’d better pray, there are no lines
You’re almost there, but what is this You’re leg is wet, but it’s not **** Pieces of peanuts, you just can’t miss
Here it comes, like a dam that’s split Or a plug for a tub, that just won’t fit A thick watery grave, that’s full of ****
So now you’re there, but it’s too late This horrible thing, must be your fate Designers of malls, are the ones to hate
They purposely build them, at the end of long halls So no one can make it, when they feel natures calls Someone should kick them, right square in the balls Just make sure you go, before you visit the malls (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryI drained my bladder, which made it gladder. I peed for an hour or more. Then I sat and ****, till my colon was split. Now my sphincter’s all itchy and sore. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryThe service station trade was slow. The owner sat around, With sharpened knife and cedar stick. Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they, The log across the rill Led to a shack, marked His and Hers That sat against the hill.
“Where is the ladies restroom, sir?” The owner leaning back, Said not a word but whittled on, And nodded toward the shack.
With quickened step she entered there But only stayed a minute, Until she screamed, just like a snake Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face She bounded through the door, And headed quickly for the car. Just like three gals before.
She missed the foot log — jumped the stream The owner gave a shout, As her silk stockings, down at her knees Caught on a sbumafras sprout.
She tripped and fell — got up, And then In obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do The things they did, and then we found The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he’d devised To make the thing complete, He tied a speaker on the wall Beneath the toilet seat.
He’d wait until the gals got set And then the devilish guy Would stop his whittling long enough, To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below Struck terror, fright and fear “Will you please use the other hole, We’re painting under here. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryThe comments are here, all over the wall. I’ll add just one more, to this bathroom stall. Write something better, then for a good time call Just put in the effort, or write nothing at all.
I’m just sick of the crap, that I’m able to read. That some dildo wrote, while he stood here and peed. He thought he was funny, or did a good deed. But a blow job tonight, is not what I need.
So if you can’t think of a thing, to write in a poem. Get your brain moving, so the thoughts will start flowin’. You can write about a fart, that’s constantly blowin’. Just make them worth it, or you can always stowem’. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |
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PoetryI am woman, here me roar, I can’t take this, any more, This stall lock, just won’t work, Must be built, by some male jerk,
Now I have to, improvise, To sit like this, is not too wise, ‘Cause if I pee, it hits the floor, When my feet, must hold the door. (view post) |
03/17/2008 |