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How To Become Good

  • I am going to add the available replies, and various replies available in trees, I ask that those who have managed to become good bold the option that they feel is most good.
  • They say the trick is being polite.

Shallow Esophagus part 1

  • Thanks!
  • No problem. It was easier than seducing your mother.
  • Excellent!
  • What if I'm not interested?
  • Bye! For now!!


  • Of course, Futanari.
  • So I shouldn't be showing this to my friends?... etc
  • Whats your hobby?
  • Yes... I'm sure it's because you're busy.
  • Go on.
  • I'm afraid to ask, what is this so called need?
  • You want to have sex with me, don't you?
  • That seems easy enough.
  • Why don't you get it yourself?
  • You're a ****ing pervert!
  • That's... so hot!
  • What's the hard part?


  • Hello there.
  • Moshi... what the ****ing **** are you talking about?
  • Hi, I'm (your name)
  • Hi, I'm Afro-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Cracky-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Chan-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Loli-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Togi-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Rabbit-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Yakatori-Chan
  • Hi, I'm Yoshi-Chan
  • What's with those weird emoticons you keep using?
  • Do you like egg whites?
  • You... and breadcrumbs. Discuss.
  • You know, this conversation isn't going... etc
  • But they're noticeably longer. Doesn't that require more typing?
  • That's almost as very special as anime.
  • Lets talk about something else.
  • (O_O)
  • Whats with those weird emoticons you keep using?
  • Do you like egg whites?
  • You... and breadcrumbs. Discuss.
  • You know, this conversation isn't going... etc


(it is has been suggested that this conversation does not seem to effect alignment)

  • Damn Girl, lets get to know each other a little better!
  • Actually, I'm a woman.
  • No you sick ****. **** you!
  • 'Sonny?' You're two years younger than me.
  • Why is your picture of an old man?
  • Why is your name cutiepie12xo if you're 14?
  • Listen, I gotta be honest. I have a woman's genitals.
  • What the hell is an Edison mechanical phonograph?
  • I'm sorry. Tardiness is always tough to deal with.
  • 'Sonny?' You're two years younger than me.
  • Why is your picture of an old man?
  • Why is your name cutiepie12xo if you're 13?
  • Listen, I gotta be honest. I have a woman's genitals.
  • Just how long is a donkey?
  • Well maybe its time to upgrade your screen name!
  • Speaking of cameras, do you have any pictures of yourself?
  • I can get in trouble for that. lets get... etc
  • I'm so ready to earn.
  • lets talk about something else.

(select options to get picture, see episode 1 walk through)


  • Ummm... hello?
  • Shallow Esophagus sent me your contact info.
  • That's pretty rude.
  • Sorry, maybe you didn't realize, I'm here to help your sorry bum.
  • Do I have the right person?
  • I ****ed your closest living female relative last night.
  • Is this some kind of endurance test, like in Fight Club?
  • You know, its a good thing I don't offend easily.
  • Oh yeah? maybe its is YOU who should "GTFO" as the saying goes.
  • Ha! "Anonymous"? Isn't that moire like the lack of a name?
  • Gosh, wouldn't you rather be yourself?
  • You're anonymous? Isn't that like, chaos and ****?
  • Yeah, whatever pal. Lets get down to business.
  • Can't afford that nose job you always wanted?
  • You despise fake breasts? for ****'s sake, why?
  • No matter how advanced science... etc
  • Does everyone who's anonymous feel this way?
  • I understand, I will pwn their bum... etc
  • I've heard enough. Less talking, more pwning!
  • How am I supposed to trust you if you keep flip-flopping?

Shallow Esophagus part 2

(after handing him a warez OS. Full price OS skips first part of dialog and appears to have no alignment effect)

  • Well to be honest, I did get it from a shady online store. A Russian one.
  • Absolutely sure. 100%. Its legit. Too legit to quit, even.
  • I thought you'd never ask!
  • Wait a minute, Mr. Shady internet guy!I have some questions first!

(From top to bottom)

  • Who are you?
  • Who do you work for?
  • a/s/l
  • What is the Pythagorean result of A + B + C = 1000
  • Screw it, lets discuss that mission

(This is the chain for a/s/l)

  • How am I supposed to know? you wont tell me anything!
  • I was hoping you were
  • Too bad
  • Could you pretend you were, at least?

(end of chain for a/s/l)

  • Sounds simple.
  • Is that all I have to do?
  • then I'm gonna start gaining! Yeehaw!
  • Now I can afford... etc
  • Gracias por la oportunidad, Senor Esofabulous persono!


  • Umm, hi.
  • What did you just ****ing say to me?
  • And a merry meet to you, indeed! and might I add, blessed be?
  • What, set up an adult arts and crafts clbum?
  • What, hold a "human be-in?"
  • What, grow disgusting gray dreadlocks in our armpits?
  • What, start a human fertilized grow-op?


(This conversation does not affect Good Alignment. Choosing the 2nd question each time, however is an Evil action.)

  • Let’s move on to another subject.
  • What exactly do you have against questions?
  • Haha, just ****ing with you. I won’t ask you any more of those nasty questions. Let’s keep blabbin’.
  • So what’s up? What’s shakin’? What’s poppin’? What’s percolatin’? What crackin’ with the booty smackin’? Wha’ gwaan? What’s really good in the hood? What the dilly, my niggy? What’s goin’ on?!

Doctor O

  • What?
  • Who?
  • Where?
  • Whence?
  • Whow?
  • Who are you anyway?
  • How did you get my contact info?
  • Why the hell would I want to see something so lame?
  • Whats the sinister thing you are talking about?
  • Are you sure about this, and how do you know?
  • I've got some more questions for you...
  • I do want to help somehow, but I have to say loyal to my source
  • **** it, fine: its some guy calling himself... etc
  • Ok, its a guy by the name of "suck my ****ing male reproductive organ"... etc
  • Sure, I'll look 'em up. Maybe I'll talk to my guy about it, also.
  • Hey man, thats your job. I'm just here to make some bucks.

(Go to Sentrillion and search for Shallow Esophagus)

Shallow Esophagus Part 3 (After you've deployed your first FBO code)

  • I don’t know what you’re talking about.
  • None of your ****ing beeswax.
  • What can I say? I’ve been expanding my horizons.

At this point you are now 8% good. Up to 53% good has been reported, I imagine the trust exercises between ratting out your various contacts play heavily into the equations.

Episode 2 Suggestions

Hear out Shallow Esophagus' problem for a large good boost.

Doktor Jojo

  • They do sound like a threat, if only to themselves. It’ll be a pleasure to help take them out. (+1% Good)
  • Eh. Sounds like a decent enough deal.

<3><3> (Camwhore clbum mission) (+7% Good)

  • That’s an awful lot of questions.
  • Wow, you’re really an annoying ****.
  • I gotta go, my male reproductive organ is leaking some kind of orange fluid.
  • Big Sister House? What the hell are you talking about?
  • Let’s cut to the chase. What did you want from me?
  • Can’t say I’ve ever seen it. Or would want to.
  • There’ll be plenty of time for that stuff once I’ve taken your money. As my main man Charlie Manson said, “Let’s take care of bidness.” (I think he said that right before carving a swastika onto his forehead.)
  • Well, your bum sounds absolutely spectacular.
  • Let’s get down to business.
  • No.
  • Hells no.
  • I’d love to see that thing.

nomoretearz (sTalk conversation)

  • Cool! (+6% Good)
  • Then I guess you can’t see that I have my webcam on, and that I’m flipping you off…with my erect male reproductive organ.

James Thelonious Reary, Jr. (Permanoob Clbum Mission)

  • Words to live by. (+1% Good)
  • God, what an idiot.


Act kind to him and attempt to talk him out of killing himself to get the Stop Anthropomorphizing Me! e-Peen, a +13% good bump, and 12,000 Flezz

Pick the lolcat options for best results.

Shallow Esophagus (Final Mission)

  • No way! I'm no narc. +7% Good bump
  • Fine. It's Nordstrom.
  • I’m pretty sure his real name is Randall Norbert Buckston
  • Sorry, that’s all I’m going to say. +1% Good bump

Post Episode 2 Suggestions


If you listen to FF's story about his childhood and how he got his user name and don't be a jerk about it, you get a +7% Good bump

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