Hello Forumwarians. I am here to do a comprehensive review on Dracula 2010 and other things bu Peter Chimaera writted by Peter Chimaera.

This book is available on Lulu.com for £7.61

http://www.lulu.com/content/4592127

Chapter 1

Our story opens in Translyvania.

time was in Translyvania in the future year 2010. Many cars were built and they droves across roads made of not dirt but paved technolog.yMicrochips were build onto cars and phones and buildings. I am in one of that building

From this gripping description, I can feel myself being transported to Translyvania. I can envision its mighty roads, its many cars, phones and buildings. This is a glorious world brought to life by the talented writing of Peter Chimaera.

Next we meet our protagonist, John Bank who is a spy working in a top-secret American-Canadian alliance. Next we meet his dear friend, Jock Denvers. Jock Denvers makes a joke about not being a Russian spy – the epitome of humour, because Jock Denvers is Russian and the KGB no longer exists – so naturally, Russia no longer has any spies.

Jock congratulates John on his last mission in which he saved Jock’s life. As a thankful gesture, Jock’s wife has cooked him ‘borwnies’ – a little known Russian delicacy.

”how is goes your mission where you have to diffuse bombs?”

john laughed “I am diffusing them now in the office” bunt it was joke becaused John Bank does not share information with eussians even if they are friendes. every year the Soviet; Union might come back and then it would be danger us to give away secrets.

Jock’s wit is matched if not surpbumed by John’s. I believe that Peter Chimaera’s skill in writing comes with his characterisation. It is rare to see a writer be able to bring his characters to life with such subtle and thought-provoking humour – for beneath the initial gag is a much more serious issue. One we don’t spend enough time thinking about and preparing for – the resurgence of the Soviet; Union.

We next find out about John’s equipment – and in particular his watch which stores ‘500 tearabytes of bomb data’. John and Jock give their farewells. Never before in literature have I read such a heart-felt goodbye.

Good bye friend because I must have anactionful hurry

Next, Peter Chimaera throws a curve-ball. Not only are we not in Hong Kong (previously unmentioned in the story), but we are now in Translovania and not Translyvania like the reader would be expecting.

Lots of time later, John Bank was not on the streets of hong kong because he was hasted onto the downtown of Translovania.

I’m not sure how to take this rapid change in plot. Only a pages in, I’d already fallen in love with the setting of Translyvania. I only hope that Translovania can provide the same serenity and mystique.

John comments that Translovania is much less advanced technologically than Hong Kong – the phone booths do not provide internet. Then, another shocking plot twist! John is confronted by a mysterious spy by the name of Renly Craddock. In an epic showdown, he tried to deceive John using a briefcase which is actually a gun! John sees through his clever trap – and in defeat, Renly discloses that he is an illegal spy for ‘the mystery company’.

Learning this, John tries to trick more information out of Renly, but is unable to do so. However, John is not out of tricks yet, in a particularly thrilling scene, back flip-kicks the mysterious spy and runs away.

Time is running out. John still needs to find the bomb. He calls HQ, and finds out some shocking news. This was a hard scene for me to read, because it’d mean that all John has worked towards, all his battles and struggles would be for nothing. He discovers, that the bomb is more powerful than he thought. It will not only kill everybody in its radius but everybody in its whole diameter!

You can feel every word, so carefully selected drip with emotion.

“because,” president John McCain told him on his radio, “it’s not a radius. We have to evacuate the whole city from its entire diameter!”

AUTHORS NOTE IF PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA CHANGE THIS

What I love in particular about this scene is how Peter Chimaera does not lock the book into having a single president. This book is before its time, but no matter who won the great presidential race, his book still finds a way to be factually correct and relevant to all who read it.

So John hurries to the government of Tranlvania (another shocking change of location, but I won’t spoil this one for you).

“I am president of Tranlvania” said the government

“msr. president if you don’t evacuate from the doom, the bomb will go off”

In this scene, we are introduced to another major character. Using wordplay, Peter Chimaera raises the question about the president’s gender. While the reader is still questioning this, he hits us with yet another plot-twist.

The president already has the situation under control. A viewing screen appears which monitors the bomb. Finally, a moment of relief. John wipes the sweat off his brow. The president thanks the United States and Canada their “bumistanch for the provectoring of our nation”. (Also note the heavy Tranlvanian dialect, which brings the locale to life.)

John returns to his hotel room where he meets with his chief – Michael.

But unknown to John, all is not well with the Transylvanian president.

Meanwhile the president of Transylvania turnsed out to be Dracula.

“How was plan?”

talking henchman replied “president Drabula there is 300 more bombs but none of them are in our Transylvania part they are exported to Romania”

“Congratulexcelent.” Dracula seemed.

He gives his final order, to begin the execution.

Chapter 2’s review coming soon.

Congratulexcelent.

msr. president if you don’t evacuate from the doom, the bomb will go of

I have a special treat for you today. Not only am I reviewing chapter three, but also chapter four!

Upon his return from the mission, John is greeted by all his colleges. The president of the mission complements him by saying he has great potential in becoming a heavily armoured and armed warship.

president of the mission told him “John you haves the making of a great battleship.”

But despite this great honour, John is modest and says he could not have succeeded with out the support from his team mates.

But suddenly, the welcoming ceremony is torn apart by an explosion! Only thirteen men were killed by the blast, but John would not stand for this act of terror. Using the damaged computer, he accesses the mission’s “skim antics” – and discovers that the president of Transylvania is Dracula! John is too shocked for words.

“!!!” he sod.

Dracula is about to give an order to his men, Chimaera, playing with literary standards starts chapter 4, right in the middle of a sentence. The order is to complete the phase, and that John Bank must never find find their “altimate weapno”.

Then, Chimaera, master of structure starts chapter 4 a second time!

Chapter 4 opens with news of John’s promotion to director and tells us about more of his equipment, in particular this time – his motorcycle.

John Bank who was promoted to director for his timley action. John Drove int owork in him brand new Cadillac hybrid motorcycle that was powered by a hovercraft.

He charges into the briefing room and demands to be updated on the mission status. He discovers that 300 bombs have been planted in Romania. Dracula is always one step in front of our hero, and in his desperate struggle to defeat this evil, John declares:

“GUEs s I have an apoontnemt with danger” John said while he slept back his hairy. It was time to put a stop to adventure.

However, somebody unknown interrupts John’s dramatic speech, and only then does he realise that everybody in the base is dead!

No, in a glimmer of hope we find there is one survivor, John’s partner Barry Talver’s is still alive – but only barely. John speaks quietly to his fallen friend and learns that a poison has been released in the headquarters, and that everybody is dead. This means, he must complete the mission on his own.

“okays but how tdo I disarm a 300 bombs at once?”

Barry nooded and frowned with his entire face “you can’t do it unless you were magic.”

Another survivor overhears Barry’s death rambles and realises the mission is not over yet.

“THAT’S IT magic” an secretary brought in. AND John went digging into arcives where he finding a tim machine.

Barry was shorked “is that a”

John said to tell him “yes it is amarican and cansadian secert that here inside the secret spy service that we have hidden an times machine but you must keep it close to your cards”

But the machine can not simply take John back to before the bombs were planted, because it is stuck to a single time period – the middle ages. John uses the time machine and lands in a medieval village. He knows he must find the secret of chaos magic because it is the only thing that can stop 300 bombs at once!

The chapter closes with a moment of doubt from our hero.

“OH no great” and his expensive shoes were made as dirty “How am I to disfeat Flacula if I CAN NOT EVEN STAY MY SHOES CLEAN”

Coming soon, Chapter 5!

Professor Commie PhD Posted:

Claine you haves the making of a great battleship.

i read those words

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

i read those words