So on one of my many pcp binges, I was laying around in the gutter begging for food when somehow I guess magically I was transported to some terrorist country or something. Then I noticed that I was almots completely sobered up and needed money, but I didn’t want to beg terrorists for money, so I didn’t know what to do until some brown dude saw that I was old and white and beat up and I guess thought I should be in a movie or somehting, I don’t know.

I thought I was India at first, but then people were all angry and **** started exploding everywhere which I hear is how you can tell it’s a terrorist country so I guess I was with terrorists.

Anyway, this was years ago, and today I just saw a clip of my movie on the internet. I guess you can’t really see me, but I was trying to bathe in that water hole where the horses fell, and they got me all dirty again. If you know what I mean.

So now I’m at the library and people are looking at me funny for watching this terrorist movie because I think they all think I’m brown enough to hate america so I think I’ll bathe in the sink for a while. I guess the moral of this story is to not take drugs when you’re about to get abducted by terrorists or something.