idk why this one didnt get picked, probably because JBs entire body was in ET’s eurethra at the time of election

You need me

And by “need” I mean “probably want nothing to do with”.

Dearest Jalapeno Bootyhole,

It is with great pleasure that I am announcing my candidacy for the available Forumwarz Moderator position. As a show of good faith I will even refrain from double-spacing after periods.

I realize that, given my history on your illustrious website, your initial response to this email should be “No” or “what the **** are you thinking” or perhaps even “ahahahah”, but I hope that I might be able to convince you to change your position to more of a “well…i mean….no”. I don’t believe that I will be able to convince you that I’m the right person for the job, because I know that ultimately you don’t trust me. I know (or at the very least sincerely hope) that you long ago realized my entire persona was a fake one bumumed to generate the most entertainment for myself and those around me. I’ve found that conflict is the most effective way to get the community involved in something, and that the fake tension between myself and the moderation staff has led, in my humble opinion, to more than a few genuinely funny threads and storylines. I know I’ve crossed the line many, many times, but it was always with the bumumed understanding that you guys knew I wasn’t serious.

My recent post history shows a blatant disregard for the rules and a clear “ban me” intent, which is exactly right. I knew I was going to be extremely busy for at least the first half of this year, so I made a resolution to “be banned for at least half of 2010”, a resolution I am trying my best to uphold.

(http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/753987) Some would call that disruptive, juvenile, and irresponsible. I call it committed. Not really though, it’s pretty disruptive, juvenile, and irresponsible. But I did still want to do something that I and a few other posters found amusing, even if I knew I couldn’t post regularly.

The main reason I am submitting this is because I think the new RP forum really could really coalesce the creative and funny members of the community in one place, which was the ultimate goal of my half-bumed Trollhole takeover. If I were made moderator, this is where I’d want to watch over, and I truly believe that I have the right sense of humor and judgement to foster the growth of this type of forum. A moderator of this forum would have to be able to tell the difference between roleplaying an bumhole for comedy’s sake and just being an bumhole for being an bumhole’s sake, and how to react to each. A moderator of this forum would have to be able to keep some semblance of “order” in a forum that is, in its essence, chaotic. A heavy handed moderator would kill it. A lenient moderator would let it fall to the ridiculously unfunny “trolls” from other sites who find the height of humor to be just uncreatively ****ting on everything. There needs to be a balance. I’ve towed the lovable scamp/public nuisance line for two years now, so I feel that I have a great sense of what flies and what doesn’t, and, most importantly, what’s good for the community and what isn’t. (I feel some of the current moderators are severely lacking in this last area of judgement, but that’s whole other email (I will not be writing said email)).

I fully expect to have 0 chance at becoming a moderator. I am aware that my role in this community makes me less than ideal for a position of power. I do however look forward to the new forum, and hope that I might have some hand in shaping how it’s run. This community still has flashes of brilliance, and I would love to be able to do my part to help encourage the community to flash each other more often.

Wait.

With my undying love,

Hobart Q Bliggity

[snip]-2009

“is combibo magnus”