DEAR SIRS:

WHILE I AM NOT ANY GREAT SHAKES WITH THIS WORLD WIDE NET BUSINESS, I HAVE MANAGED TO CONVINCE MY GRANDSON TO PLACE A PICTURE OF MYSELF NEXT TO EVERY POST I MAKE, AND TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN HIS YOUNG SKILLS. IF YOU WOULD WISH TO HIRE HIS SERVICES, I CAN CERTAINLY SEND YOU HIS PHONE NUMBER. PLEASE REMEMBER, HOWEVER, HE IS A SKILLED TECHNICIAN AND SHOULD BE PAID AT LEAST ONE DOLLAR FOR EVERY HOUR SPENT HELPING YOU. I REALIZE THIS RATE IS OUTRAGEOUS, BUT THESE ARE MODERN TIMES AND WE MUST ADAPT.

ALSO, SHOULD YOU SEE HIM, PLEASE TELL HIM THAT IT IS EMBARRbumING TO HIS ENTIRE FAMILY FOR HIM TO WEAR EARRINGS AND TO KEEP HIS PANTS SO LOW. THE MORE HE IS TOLD THIS, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS HE WILL SHAPE UP AND BE A GOOD YOUNG MAN, AND NOT THE DANGEROUSLY-CLOSE-TO-SEXUAL-INVERT HE SEEMS NOW.

SINCERELY,

GERALD F. CULBERTSON, SR.