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Patently Chi-
ll Prestidig-
itator

Avatar: 128746 2011-10-09 04:24:59 -0400
8

[love is a dog from-
hell
]

Level 69 Troll

Celerysteve is incredible... he is just so... so incredible.

Having gone to everybody, and having begged the aid of both the Christian and the Turkish priests, I applied to an Armenian merchant: to him I sold my daughter and myself for thirty-five tomans. I went to the Jews, gave them their thirty tomans, and carried the other five to my sister, whom I had not yet seen. “You are free,” said I, “my sister; and I can embrace you. Here are five tomans I have brought; I am sorry that they would not buy me for more.” “What!” cried she, “you have sold yourself?” “Yes,” replied I. “Ah! wretched man, what have you done? Was I not miserable enough, that should make me more so? Your freedom was my comfort; your bondage will bring me to the grave. Ah! my brother, how cruel your love is! And my daughter? I do not see her!” “I have sold her too,” said I. We both burst into tears, and were unable to utter a single word. At last I had to return to my master. My sister was with him almost as soon as I. She threw herself at his feet saying, “I beg from you slavery as others as for freedom: take me, you can sell me for a greater sum than my husband.” Then there took place a struggle which drew tears from my master’s eyes. “Unhappy man!” said she, “did you think that I would accept my liberty at the cost of yours? Master, you behold two unfortunates who will die if you separate them. I give myself to you; pay me: perhaps that money and my services will some day obtain from you what I dare not ask. It is for your own interest not to separate us: remember his life depends on me.” The Armenian, a humane man, was touched by our woes: “Serve me, both of you, with fidelity and zeal, and I promise you that in a year I will give you your freedom. I see that neither of you deserve the wretchedness of your lot. If, when you become free, your happiness is as great as your merit, and fortune smiles upon you, I am certain that you will repay me that which I shall lose.” We both embraced his knees, and attended him on his journey. We comforted each other in our servile tasks; and I was delighted when I could do the work which fell to my sister’s share.


Joseph of Suburbia Posted:

im about to do a fuknig pirouette off the handle numpnuts if you dont find this completely hilarious i guess you are just completely dumb geez dont you get this is the funniest stuff ever

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