Dear Walt Disney,

I just got through watching your channel for about an hour. I was truly perplexed by the content. The audience seemed to be laughing and enjoying themselves, but I didn’t get one laugh. It makes me feel dumb and like I’m missing out on jokes. I don’t like feeling this way Walt, may I call you Walt? I think you should cancel the shows “Hannah Montana” and Wizards of Waverly Place” immediately. You’ve made a very powerful enemy today, Walt. I suggest you do as I ask. I’m going to be sending you a letter every day until this is fixed or until I find my remote.

Death to the Jews and all that,

ERECTILE_DEATH

P.S. Can you give me the Jonas Brothers’ address? I have a package I need to deliver.

P.P.S. Is Peter Pan really about a child molester like I think it is?