I’m an alcoholic. I smoke weed, snort speed, and **** fat ****es.

I am a bad person. I genuinely dislike you. I have an overabundance of give a ****.

This is why I stay ****ed up.

I find few things on earth as satisfying as pressing a razor to skin, not my skin, your skin, her skin, his skin. I find the sight of blood to be erotic. Does it make me a horrible person because I want to make sweet love to your ocular cavity using blood from your severed teat as lubrication?

You should not do drugs. Drugs are bad for you, stay away from them, it leaves more for me.

Speaking of drugs, feel free to come over anytime. I will fix you a drink and we can see where it goes from there. Have you ever found yourself hanging from a cross, nude, with jumper cables attached to your testicles? No? I will have to fix that for you.

All that being said, let’s get drunk and screw. I’m coming to a town near you. I’ll bring the lube and weapons you bring police.