last time I saw Charlie he got me all ****ed up on some drug he had specially designed for him (called it “Odin’s Scrotum” he was big into mythology for awhile) only he said they weren’t doing the trick anymore. So he pours 2 shotglbumes full of nail polish remover, drops 4 pills in each, pours 2 pint glbumes of scotch and tells me “drop it in and chug or you’re a bigger woman's genitals than Emilio” Next thing we know we’re in arkansas with 4 israeli chicks who don’t speak english and a very ****ed off Felipe de Jesús Calderón Hinojosa. (we started off just outside the U of Arizona campus where Charlie got a whole dorm naked just by closin his eyes and thinkin real hard) We’re at some zoo or park or something and when I come to Charlie has got his arm around this hog and he’s talking to it and the hog just understands him somehow. I’m still feelin the pills so I start to freak again and Charlie runs over and doesn’t say a word, just looks at me and gets down on his knees and closes his eyes and somehow I just know that I should too so I get down on my knees and I close my eyes and I just feel this peace and tranquility and then I hear Charlie say “Hobart, it is time to awaken. It is time to truly open your eyes to the world around you” so I open up my eyes and Charlie is standing there holding a ****ing 6 foot alligator in his hands over his head like an axe and he ****ing makes this crazy-bum war cry scream thing and swings the ****ing alligator at my head.

That was a few months ago and I haven’t seen him since. Woke up in the hospital next to this toothless old guy (zookeeper?) and he said they were missing a hog too.