<Bashy> Nobody likes me when I express my affection for woman's genitalss.

<Bashy> No wonder my mom said she wanted a girl.

<MercWithMouth> Lol. Oh believe me.

<MercWithMouth> There’s affection.

<MercWithMouth> There is a LOT of affection for that one.

<Bashy> I just can’t seem to get women to understand that I’m not just joking around, but really am telling them I’m interested in woman's genitalss and their sexual relations. Do you have any advice for me, Merc? You said I could believe you.

<neona> o.o

* neona looks up, then looks right back down

<MercWithMouth> Lol.

<Bashy> It’s not very funny to me =\

<Bashy> I don’t want to be just “the nice guy-friend” anymore.

<MercWithMouth> Well, I’ll take a chance with fate and bumume you’re not asking ironcially,

<MercWithMouth> but hte first tip is to NOT mention the word woman's genitals.

<MercWithMouth> Big no-no.

* MercWithMouth though secretly worships the word

<Bashy> But I see and hear about tons of douchebag guys who say way more crude things than that and get lots of girls.

<MercWithMouth> maybe,

<MercWithMouth> but not to them,

<MercWithMouth> and even more rarely,

<MercWithMouth> by using that word.

<Bashy> Like, “Hey, that’s a nice bum on you,” to a complete stranger, and they get the girl. Or, like, loudly talking about “all the woman's genitals I got last night” around other girls. And it works. But when I say anything like that it’s “cute” or gross.

<Bashy> So unless I misunderstood what you were saying, you know how to show I have a lot of real affection and not just… a baby suckling at a teet?

<MercWithMouth> back

* MercWithMouth is multitasking

<Bashy> Oh, good

<MercWithMouth> hmm. regarding the first statement…

<MercWithMouth> while i’ll admit it’s possible you mighta seen that firsthand,

<Bashy> Sometimes do you ever wish interpersonal relations, especially females, came with an instructional manual or something analogous?

<MercWithMouth> the underlying reasonsa re—

<MercWithMouth> lol

<MercWithMouth> You have no idea…

<Bashy> Yeah =\

* MercWithMouth experiences twinge of violent memories flooding back

<Bashy> Violent? Well, I suppose a few times I’ve been very frustrated.

<MercWithMouth> lol

<MercWithMouth> i was on the RECEIVING end.

<Bashy> Oh no =(

<MercWithMouth> heh

<MercWithMouth> Well… they call me the Merc With The Mouth for a reason.

<MercWithMouth> And I’ve been slapped enough times to prove it.

<Bashy> I just thought it because you were a general in a mercenary army, giving a lot of orders.

<Bashy> Or something like that.

<MercWithMouth> lol.

<MercWithMouth> Not exactly.

<MercWithMouth> Let me show you:

<MercWithMouth> http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:MercWithMouth

<Bashy> LOL

<MercWithMouth> I take my name after a Marvel comics superhero.

<Bashy> Yes, that is onie use for a big mouth.

<MercWithMouth> That’s my user-page. Log in to see images!

<Bashy> Highly amusing.

<MercWithMouth> Dead Pool — also known as the Merc With The Mouth — has an incredible habit of talking. CONSTANTLY.

<neona> bleh tired later all n.n

<Bashy> I wish there were graphic novels about what to do when girls don’t take me seriously =(

<Bashy> Like, one where I could develop a “super power,” per se, of knowing what to do, or reading their minds.

<MercWithMouth> In fact, he even sees the yellow dialogue boxes that are there for the readers.

<MercWithMouth> Actually, you’re thinking ‘mind control’.

<Bashy> I see!

<MercWithMouth> Or, ‘think logically now’-zap.

<MercWithMouth> <.<

<MercWithMouth> Women are crazy man.

<Bashy> Women are immune to that type of ray.

<MercWithMouth> yep.

<Bashy> And apparently, to my signals =(

<MercWithMouth> Heh heh heh.

<MercWithMouth> Pull up a seat.

<MercWithMouth> I can’t promise we’ll get to your destination…

<MercWithMouth> (intended destination, anyway.)

<MercWithMouth> but we’ll have fun getting there…!

<MercWithMouth> >=)

<Bashy> “Be more subtle,” they say. Doesn’t work. “Be more bumertive,” they say. Gets me glares. They can’t have it both ways!

* HAL9001 yawns

<Bashy> But I want to give it to them both ways, if you know what I am getting at!

<Bashy> *wink wink*