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I was hanging out with my friend one time and we met MacGyver. Alright, well, we met The Most Awesome Man. We were both a little bit high, driving his mom’s car through some neighborhood to pick up a couple of girls. All of a sudden the horn in the car alarm starts going off while we’re driving. We have no idea what the hell is going on, so we pull over and try everything to get it to stop. No luck. So we get out of the car and my friend accidentally locks the keys in.

So there we are, locked out of an expensive car with the alarm going off, in a nice neighborhood. I should add that we look like typical teenage hoodlums, and we’re high. So we start to panic a bit. Then we see HIM.

He walks up to us and asks what’s going on. We fumble through an explanation. He says “well we better get this sorted out before any authorities show up” and ****ing winked at us. He then (and to this day I have no idea where he was hiding it) magically produced a slim-jim and popped the lock on the door in one try. Without even pausing, he opened the fuse box, immediately selected the correct fuse out of like sixty, and disabled the alarm. He then replaced the blown fuse with, I can only imagine, one he was carrying on him in the same magical compartment that housed the slim-jim.

My friend and I were kind of astonished. He handed my friend the keys, TIPPED HIS HAT, and continued walking in the same direction.