Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

To be honest, I’m kind of surprised you’d go out of your way to make a post like this.

First off, I’m curious as to just what “particular piece of info” you were looking for that inspired this trip down memory lane. That’s besides the point. I also recently stumbled upon some of our earlier correspondence, from back in the halcyon Falcon****er days. You were polite, responsive and helpful back then — hell, you even used smileys. ****ing smileys, Steve. How could I have known that beneath that benign, happy cartoon avatar hid such a reckless and tortured soul?

You’ll never fathom how much willpower it took to not reproduce your querulous, self-righteous, frankly delusional emails to the rest of the Apprentice team, even after they begged me to share them. I’m not sure what I wrote that made me sound like a “gay little **** on the rag” (am I a gay man or a menstruating woman? nice burn there) but it’s not easy to try to maintain an air of professionalism when you’re being deluged by a nonstop stream of insane bumhurt.

I’m sure all of this will go over your head, so how about I give you a stock answer you’ll understand: I was RPing an emo-moderator.

wow nice job stretching the tables w/ your ****ing whining