Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

My name…

is…

Jalapeno FortyHole

Gentlemen, be sure to use lotion to quell those raging erections. Ladies, don’t hesitate to rub those love bumons. We can’t let my perfectly engineered sexy go to waste, now can we? How else will more children be born to serve our wondrous world?

But I, I was not born. NO! I exist for one purpose, and one purpose alone.

TO DANCE

...

wait what?

Oh. Never mind. I’ve just been informed that, apparently, my purpose is to hold auditions for Tubsonic voices for Episode 3!

Grab yourself a microphone and we’ll get down to business.

So as to avoid spoilers as to which characters will get Tubsonics, I am going to provide a list of archetype voice types we can use in the third post of this thread, along with brief snippets of monologue for you to read. Bear in mind, these snippets of dialogue are made up and do not reflect any actual characters from the game, upcoming or existing. You are encouraged to come up with a character type that is not listed here and you feel could be appropriate for Forumwarz, and you are also encouraged to go off-script in these entries, so long as it’s funny. You are also encouraged to come up with entries for existing characters if there is one you particularly like.

I would like one entry per player/account. Mods will check to ensure that you do not attempt to enter more than once. Each entry may contain up to five characterizations (improvised, listed below or any combination of the two), but should not go over two minutes.

Say your main’s character name very clearly at the start of the recording. Then say which characters you plan to read, and any other game character you like or would enjoy reading for.

I will select the top entries and correspond with them for further instructions. Tubmail a link to your entries to me (Jalapeno FortyHole). You can host them at Mediafire. If you want to host them somewhere else, feel free, but I’m not likely to spend more than a few TMs back and forth sorting out where it’s hosted. See the “useful links” section at the bottom. I’ve got a lot of sound effects, filters and manipulation tools at my disposal, so don’t try to show off by editing your entry like crazy; this is about the voice, not the tricks you can do in audacity.

Upon completion and acceptance of their message, each of those selected will receive 3 BP and all that are used in the final cut a special E-peen indicating they provided the voice for an in-game Tubsonic.

If selected, you will be asked to agree to a spoiler agreement similar to that agreed to by the apprentices.

No trolling, posting for commentary is allowed, but please don’t spam this thread up.

Useful Links:

http://www.mediafire.com/index.php (media hosting)

http://www.archive.org/index.php (media hosting)

http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ (freeware recording software)

Edit: End date. I forgot to add an end date. End date is August 29th, next Saturday, at midnight server time.

Edit 2: banned players may submit by proxy if they are able.

Edit 3: this will take time, guys, just recognize that this process won’t be overnight. You’ll need to record it, and there might be several takes ultimately, then we add any after effects we need to and then you get the peen once ep3 comes out. So just be aware that it could be a few months before you get the peen, although the beeps will be delivered pretty quickly.