“I can’t believe we’re touring together,” Steve Albini said, tuning his guitar.

“I know, it just seems so… right.” J Mascis said.

“I really like what you’re doing recently,” Albini said, “fighting the loudness wars and all.”

“Yes, the loudness wars are important.”

There was silence broken only by the muffled din of the crowd gathering outside. Worldlessly J walked toward steve, and grabbed his scruffy chin with one hand. He pulled him close and their lips met. A mingling of old man breath – coffee, and cigarettes, and cheap road food, and halitosis. Their tongues clashed, brushing roughly against one another.

“Oh yeah, J, yeah,” Steve said.

J reached down towards Steve’s dockers, and grabbed at the rock-hard lump that was forming.

“J,” Steve said, “You’re living all over me.”