Fie Posted:

To Doctor Fingerz:

I **** rainbows. Halp.

I once worked with a fellow, years ago, whose mom was so gay she defecated rainbows, and we relayed that message to him in various ways, verbal, written, entered in as part of customers’ order tickets, you name it. He became so distraught at the thought of his dear mother being fisted by some bulldyke that he locked himself in the boss’ office, with the boss’ keys inside, and ate himself into a diabetic coma.

You might want to try some cranberry juice. If that doesn’t help, find yourself a male lover- you might just have caught yourself a case of “the gay”.