Pay attention, fresh meat. Sergeant Cid here. And I’ve got something that you need to hear, so listen up.

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of belly aching about how this game is so tough, and how it’s so unfair that all of the veteran players get to buy the best gear.

Well… Ol’ Sarge has good news for you fresh recruits. I’m going to hook you up with some damn fine gear, and a damn fine price.

The Master Ball
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23 Points of extra Offense will help you annihilate those pesky forums. And 33 Points of Extra Defense will enable you to shrug off practically any type of damage.

”But, Sarge… I’m a poor shmuck with barely any Flezz at all… and them there Master Balls run at least  400K! How can I afford that?”

It’s simple, newbie. I ain’t sellin’ them for 400K. Try 16,250.

You read that right. 16,250. Just go run a few missions for them FBO fellers, or that sneaky bastard Shallow Esophagus, and you should have the flezz you need, so that you can buy the Gear You Need.

Now, here’s the catch. This offer is open only to our newest recruits. You veterans need to move along and give these green maggots a chance. To qualify, you need to be a true newbie, meaning you signed up for the ForumWarz less than 2 months ago. Just go ahead and post in this thread, and I’ll get in touch with you and see about getting you set up.

Now, after I’ve taken care of the newbies, if I’ve got any left, then I’ll open it up to some of our more experienced soldiers. But the new kids get first dibs, copy that?

First come, first serve. Get moving, maggots!