Charlie Sheen Posted:

man i was havin some bloody marys on keifer sutherlands porch and i was like hey kief you ever hear of this hobart bliggity guy and he was like no and i was like you see theres this **** called the internet and he was like i know what the internet is Chuck and im like it connects you to the rest of the ****in world you can do some shoppin or look at titties or find out why your male reproductive organ is all purple and kiefs like my male reproductive organ aint purple Chuck and i say well if it was you could go on and find out why

and kiefers getting a little ****y and hes like i know what the ****in internet is Chuck just get to the point and im like there this guy hobart bliggity and he sucks and hes so bad at everythin he does one time i was like hey hobart take my boat off that ramp and he couldnt do it couldnt even drive a boat

and kief was like couldnt drive a boat

and i was like no man

couldnt drive a boat

Yeah but then later on we were out and Emilio was drivin and we took that bad acid (this was many years ago) and tripped the **** out and I jumped up and punched out Emilio (he hadn’t shaved for a few week becuase he was out of work and depressed and I thought he was Taliban) and just floored that ****ed toward what I thought was John F Kennedy’s bumhole but really was that ramp and I ****ing backflipped the boat and that girls top came off and her titties landed right in your face but they were bad fake titties so you thought some alien **** was attacking you and you were callin out for your daddy to help goin “Dad! Oh **** dad help! Martin! Marrrrtin **** martin **** me ahhhhh help” and I looked over at the shore and Marty was just shakin his head and gettin a beej from Glen Close like it was no big deal.