This is very special. I clicked this thread, expecting a reward for proper effort at a troll, only to find out you will use random.org. Wow, what completely novel concept, that is cetainly not used anywhere else… oh, wait.

This contest is ****tarded, and you’re the AIDS-filled failtastic blundermind behind it, using the same randomizer every other chuckle**** is using. The only way you could fail more is by hosting a contest that depends on topping a leaderboard, while there are three more contests doing the exactly same thing.

‘Oh, friend me, until I win the Worthless E-Peen Something or Other, and I will give BP, only that won’t happen, because you will go to anoher thread, and friend another guy, which will completely negate any and all effort and point of the contest in the first place. Hurfy durfy hurrrrr.’

Is originality your kryptonite? Your silver bullet? Your garlic? Your holy water? The phoenix down on your rotting puss-filled zombie brains? How about a contest based on skill? Or effort? Or merit?

Do you ever, among your numerous and extended sessions of jerking off to Midna porn, stop to think to yourself, “Wow, what a miserable fabulous persongy waste of space I really am.” Also, congratulations on your 10” e-peen. If only your irl-peen approached a fifth of that, and if only a quarter of the effort put into getting them would be put into being a normal human, you would be a CEO and ****ing hot secretaries left and right; and you’ve got 11 awards too, wow, you truly are are credit to basement-dwelling neckbearded animu-doll ****ing tubs of lard everywhere.

Just kidding, of course, the first thing that would come out of the mouth of a fat, greasy, unwashed, pantsless moron who has just seen the sun for the first time, if he were to meet you in real life would be, “Wow, you’re a loser.”

­

­

­

­

­

I’m spent.