Welp, looks like the thread is abandoned, or maybe I just failed to read and winner was already chosen. Or maybe there is a whole pack of new peens (selected from this thread) being made right now, who knows.

Let your evil shine. – Equip an item with +Douchebaggery while not being a Troll.

Bringing sexy back. – Equip an item with +Sexiness while not being a Camwhore.

Would you like to play a game? – Equip an item with +Processing Power while not being a Hacker.

Cheer up. – Equip an item with +Tears while not being an Emo Kid

Pwn every single forum avaialable, at least once (no streak necessary), as X:

I am the ghost in their machine. – X = Hacker.

I’m too sexy for my shirt. – X = Camwhore.

I am the darkness. – X = Emo Kid.

I am the hate machine. – X = Troll.

I like lolcats! – X = Permanoob.