I had sexual adventures in my younger days. More specifically, I used a philosopher’s stone to turn my male reproductive organ to gold and I’ve never been able to wear pants since. If you think my colleagues could resist the same prank, you’re sadly mistaken – do note that we all wear robes nowadays! The ultimate achievement of alchemy was just an excuse to create the ultimate dong. I met my most recent wife online when she inquired about the story behind my username, AlwaysHard_247.