Much love, people, much love.

My wife gave me a special gift this Valentine’s Day. Divorce papers!

But we’re still friends. I even helped her move.

Into a shallow grave behind the Snappy’s!

I guess you could say I stole her heart and ate it while vigorously masturbating and watching Say Anything!

But I love Valentine’s Day. It’s the only holiday I observe. Except for Ramdan! Asalamalekum

My first wife, on our first Valentine’s Day together, got me a wonderful new suit. I felt bad because all I gave her was tuberculosis!

And I coughed up blood on the suit, so way to get me a bloody suit, woman's genitals!

My youngest daughter, Corinne Lubelle Comic, made me a Valentine’s Day card this year.

What a cheap little ****!

Strippers are always nicer on Valentine’s Day. That’s why it almost hurts when I tell them they won’t ever complete med school!

If there’s one thing you need to remember this Valentine’s it’s that love is not real. It was invented by the Elders of Zion in order to convince people their lives has substance and meaning so they’ll continue to work and not kill themselves, thus ****ing up the means of production.

That’s why this Valentine’s I’m going to take some ecstasy and rub my male reproductive organ against the Hamburgler at a McDonald’s play place!
The Unknown Comic edited this message on 02/14/2009 12:50PM