I want people to be giving me this Oscar for the right reasons. I clearly was the best Joker of all time, and the character clearly deserves to be permanently retired from film, animated series, and comic books because, well, I won’t be around to play the part.

However, it seems that my impending posthumous Oscar victory will be tarnished by a number of factors. For starters, this whole “Oh, well he has to win because he died for this role” issue is going to tarnish my good name and reputation. I want to earn this Oscar, not be awarded it because after having some posthumous sex with an Olsen Twin (get it, they look like skeletons) I decided that I wanted to show my sympathetic nervous system just exactly whose **** it was and I failed to realize the twins’ CPR Certifications were nonexistent as they are vacuous wastes of life good only for filling with semen and obtaining free drugs.

As such, I am here to petition you, the ForumWarz userbase, to ensure that my victory achieves the recognition that it properly deserves. It is bad enough that, while alive, I won awards that are “because he opened up the back door for Spiderman;” at least, in death, let me have some dignity. And a posthumous blowjob from an Olsen, as that is not technically necrophilia anymore.