OMG you totally has a ukelele and that’s awesome and you’re awesome and soooooo pretty and totally nice and awesome and I think I’d be gay for you but I’m all gender-confused so I dunno if I’d be gay or straight for you or if I’d just go insane and explode my brains thinking about it cuz thinking is hard and hurts and you don’t want me to hurt and cry and be sad right because you’re awesome and a nifty spiffy chick and I totally was tellin’ this story about my principal and my boyfriend who’s totally dumping me because everybody saw his male reproductive organ while I was blowing him in the broom closet like it’s totally my fault that the guys I told would bring cameras you’d think he totally wouldn’t blame me for that it’s not like I knew they’d post those pix in the school newspaper and now see I’m sad again I totally need someone to cheer me up so be totally nice to me please because my principal is totally saying if I don’t blow him in the broom closet I’m gonna fail but he’s bringing a video camera and I think he’s going to post me all over the internet and I don’t want to be on the internet blowing some creepy old guy because if I’m going to be on the internet I want it to be with some hot young stud or maybe a lesbian video or maybe a gay video I dunno I don’t even know who or what I am but I totally don’t want to get caught blowing some creepy old guy with a wrinkly male reproductive organ so save me pleeeeeeeeease!