Jim McPerson Posted:

Dear kittie,

For about several years now I’ve had this awful urge to blow my brains out and splatter them in a beautiful pattern across my pathetic 5-yr old wallpapers. This is, however, not acceptable behavior [not yet, at least]. Do you have any suggestions as to what should I do to refrain from thinking about it all the time?

Luvs,

Jim

Get new wallpaper. Actually, get the most fabulous wallpaper you can get your hands on so you couldn’t bear to mess it up with blood and brains.