Blam! You fall over backwards with the force of the bullet striking your cranium. Of course, wizards cant be killed by guns, why only last year, proffesor Snape was shot a bazzilion times.

You have a sandwitch. ****, even the food TASTES goth. So you throw it up in your coffin, good idea.

You walk over to the table, but you just arrvied, so you dont know any magic. The book is labled “Book of Goffic Spells” Maybe that can help?

The note says “This was your fathers, and you may find it usefull, ****.” To the note is stapled an invivibility condom. Its a few years out of date, so its useless for stopping pregnancy. Its marked “extra springy”.

You put on your uniform. The bathroom door opens, and out steps another Slitherin. He is wearing tight black jeans and a GC top. Thats black too, of course.

“Mediocre dunce” He sais then pushes you to the ground. “No one wears their uniform, you need to be cool in Sltherin, or you die” He then storms through to the common room, leaving the door open.