so my dad martin likes to have dinner once a month to make sure im not ****in up my life to much we used to go out to restaurants but there are too many places im not allowed in a lot of public places anymore

so we usually go to his place which was where we were last night

marty was eatin some pasta or some or **** like and i told his cook jean paul to make me up some waffleburgers its this awesome food i invented that like a full pound of beef hamburger with cheese and lettuce pickles and the secret ingredient some kraft mac and cheese sandwich between two freshly heated waffles

little bit of syrup on top and you have the Charlie Sheen Waffleburger son

so im eatin my waffleburger tryin not to drink more tahn ten beers and to pay attention to marty when out of no where hes all like charlie im real worried your not savin your money

so i ****in throw the plate with my waffleburger on it at the wall and scream YOU KNOW MARTY IM REAL ****IN WORRIED YOUR NOT SHUTTIN UP OLD MAN

and hes like don’t speak to me that way charlie im your dad and im tryin to make sure you dont go bankrupt

and im still screamin **** YOU I SPEND AS MUCH AS I NEED AND I GOT A SHOW THATLL NEVER GET CANCELLED SO **** YOUR WEST WING ****

[i]charlie i know how you spend your money[i]

i started singing the song i sing when i pretend like im not listenin EAST BOUND DOWN LOADED UP AND TRUCKIN WE GONNA DO WHAT THEY SAY CANT BE DONE WE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO AND A SHORT TIME TO GET THERE IM EAST BOUND JUST WATCH OL BANDIT RUN

charlie why do you shut me out like this

KEEP YOUR FOOT FLAT ON THE PEDAL SON NEVERMIND THEM BREAKS LET IT ALL HANG OUT CUZ WE GOT A RUN TO MAKE BOYS ARE THIRSTY IN ATLANTA AND THERES BEER IN TEXARKANA WELL BRING IT BACK NO MATTER WAT IS TAAAAAAAAAAAAKES

all right charlie if your gonna behave like this im gonna go to bed you can let yourself out

that when i ****in snapped and threw his plate against the wall im all like youd turn your back on YOUR OWN SON youd walk out on a mother ****ing GUEST IM GONNA TURN YOUR BONES INTO DUST YOU OLD ****

and i got him in a head lock and started givin him a bunch of body blows smacked him a couple of times alll the time just screamin not sayin words just screamin

in the end he kind of fell and i kind of pushed him down the stairs

im too scared to see if he’s still alive

think im gonna go to the movies