Closed now. Give me a few to pick the winners and I’ll edit them into this.

It should be noted that some people could not follow even loose limerick form despite the link to the wiki. *sigh*

In no particular order (simply the order submitted in) the winners are:

Raepdog:
Now this right old man was a sick ‘un
He had a dozen hen ripe for the pickin’
He’d chase ‘em around
With his trousers pulled down
And he’d say “Whatsa matter, you chicken?”

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Drunkenlazybastard:
There once was a camwhore named Fran
Whose mammary glands were as big as a van
For E-Peen She’d ****
Evil Trout or A Duck
Here’s to hoping she gets herself banned

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Deific Blunder:
Tubsweetie scrawled on the stall
“Let me molest you like a Japanese doll!”
Patch said, “Could be fun
But I’m a tad little young…”
Tubs yelled, “Grbum on the field? PLAY BALL!” 

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BixNoodle:
There once was a loli quite frail,
Whose daddy had just left from jail.
Her poor bum he did use,
And control she did lose,
But he rammed her until it grew stale. 

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Wayne Kerr:
Goatse
There once was a horrible bloke
who thought he was playing a joke.
He stretched out his bum,
beyond limits most heinous,
until the elastic just broke.