Shii Posted:
Hello, my sweet lover.
Just because it’s you, I have some offers that will make 8 BP seem like chump change. Just stick it in my thong-band, when I’m done.
Not only are you the sexiest thing alive, you make Chuck Norris look like Stephen Hawking. I’ve already begun on a page of Capn_Fever facts, such as “Capn Fever wears a live rattlesnake for a condom” and “Capn_Fever can clog a toilet just by ****ing.”
And of course the normal ones still apply, like “Capn_Fever is so manly he blows bubbles with beef jerky.”
For the mere pittance of 8 BPs, I will let you have your complete and utter way with me. And I mean degrading. I’ve already got the fisting mitten lubed up.
It would be an honor to be repeatedly, bloodily, and forcefully violated by your astounding man-ness, your Highness. I’ll even throw in a free fursuit and THOR. Yes, THOR. You can decide who gets to take it. I will bury all 7 vibrating doldoes inside my sweaty body, just for your viewing pleasure.
If I heard right, (and I did), you’re the only person on ForumWarz who got an IQ score higher than drool on the test. E-peen is nothing. You only use your e-peen measurement so as to not crush the hopes and aspirations of everyone else who wish their rl-peen was half the size of yours, because of the inestimable quantity of your modesty.
We’ll make a video together, just you and me, and then I can find out for real whether you don’t **** anything but Nerds candy and newborn puppies, like everyone tells me. And when I see your fabled jizz of orange soda, it’ll be over. All over, because no mortal furry like myself can handle it.
In fact, you’re the reason furries dress up at all. You inspire such intimidation and respect that all other humans longing for your sexing wish to be nothing but ****beasts for your enjoyment.
Jesus had you in mind specifically when he got crucified, and it made it all worthwhile. Specifically, the epic man-hair on your chest and your ridiculously huge male reproductive organ.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK male reproductive organS
